User talk:Beeology/sandbox

Looks good, I would make it more specific to your genus, it kind of goes on tangents that are interesting but could be their own articles. I would want to know: range, foraging habits, conservation status, and a physical description along with phenology (specifically: when it emerges and when it is most active).Moosebro (talk) 18:21, 5 March 2018 (UTC)Moosebro

I think the outline is really detailed, good job! You did better than I did. I would add something possibly about how climate change or human mediated landscape changes may be impacting this species (I know there is 1 paper on this type of thing, I can share it with you if you'd like!). In addition, this is more of a side note, but P. bombiformis is beautiful, so definitely include a picture! Cant wait to see the rest of this article, and possibly a few floral species that it is most commonly found on (hibiscus) Beesbewithyou (talk) 02:21, 6 March 2018 (UTC)

I somehow didn't get the notification that you guys left messages on my talk page...so I'm just seeing these now as I am posting the first draft. But, I really like both of your comments, and I will include more of them on my next draft. Rachel, if you have that paper, I would love to read it! Beeology (talk) 05:19, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

The intro was a bit too technical, I would define some of the harder words or use easier words. In the final draft I assume you will link some of the technical words so their own articles which might make them more understandable. There were a few grammar errors spread throughout which isn't surprising for a first draft so I didn't go through and mark them yet. Finally, are the bees more effective pollinators? If they are depositing conspecific pollen more often then they might be the most important pollinators for the species you mentioned. Moosebro (talk) 16:03, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

I thought overall you were super detailed and did a great job! two things i would change would be the tag on sentence about their hairs and body size. I would put a new little section about morphology, because they have really interesting leg sizes and hairs, and I don't think that should go unmentioned! Additionally, I would add a picture because since you are stating it is in apidae, many novices may assume it resembles a honey or bumble bee! Lastly, I thought your organization was great, and I'm a big fan of the further reading section ( I may implement it). Overall I think you described the species well, and I would definitely use your page as a reference for future work! Beesbewithyou (talk) 20:18, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

Thanks Moosebro and Beesbewithyou for great feedback on the outline and first draft. Exactly the type of feedback I would find helpful in revising an article!Evol&#38;Glass (talk) 14:30, 26 March 2018 (UTC)