User talk:Bertbert95/sandbox

Citation feedback: Good sources here, but your first paraphrase veers a bit too much into opinion-giving. Colbuendia71 (talk) 15:50, 15 March 2019 (UTC) Overall I think this is a great start to your project. There is an immense amount of factual information with sources. However, the sources don't come up as links, maybe take a look at the url's you provided. Also on the topic of sources your first section on Campbells Field history has no sources to know where you got your information from. In the same section you say that the stadium opened in 2001 but the governor attended the first game in 1999, a little confusing. The paragraphs have good information but their order seems a little weird, maybe order them chronologically. I like that you linked to all of the different landmarks in Camden that you mentioned here. The demolition section seems really solid, you mention all of the companies involved and cite all of your information. Another section you might want to add could be important people involved in starting it, I believe the guy who had the stadium built died right after construction was finished(I could be wrong). Again, the 76ers section looks great, my recommendation would be to add a picture of the facility. For the entire piece there is no bias toward one point or another, just the facts.Tinm923 (talk) 15:50, 16 April 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
I think overall this is great work. You put a lot of information and details into each section and gave credit to where you got the information from. What I would recommend fixing is what he said on his peer review, which is try to move certain sections in the paragraph to chronological order because it does get confusing when it comes to understanding what year you are talking about. But like I said overall this is very detailed and well put together. CherryBlossom918 (talk) 19:41, 22 April 2019 (UTC)

You have a lot of great information here, and this page is well-sourced. The primary issue with your section on Campbell's Field is with the verb tenses: I understand that much of this is ongoing, but you have to try to stay in a neutral "in the past" timeframe. Remember the phrase that helps smooth a lot of future issues over "as of April 2019..." The section on the 76ers training facility is well-written but might be better broken up into multiple paragraphs. And I agree with your peers that a picture of the facility is all but required in this case. I think you still have a lot of opportunities if you want to write about sports history in the next phase of the project. You could also consider writing about Rutgers athletics, though that might prove trickier to source. Colbuendia71 (talk) 20:17, 23 April 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
Good clean up this second time around. There is still a tense error in the first section where it says NJEDA would pay, this could be changed to NJEDA paid. The sentence in the 76ers last paragraph where it says the last location they practiced is a little confusing. Which facility is considered the most advanced the 76ers or Philadelphia College's. Through out the article you recite the same source over and over when you could probably just use one for a few sentences. The picture looks great and another one for the 76ers facility would go nicely with it. Tinm923 (talk) 01:29, 30 April 2019 (UTC)

There's not much for me to say here because you already moved much of this to main space. I would recommend you go over some of your work for tense issues: although you nail the "as of spring 2019" move, there are still a few places where the tenses are a bit wonky. Colbuendia71 (talk) 17:40, 2 May 2019 (UTC)