User talk:Bitran0205/sandbox

Hello Bi it's good to see you in class again.DuneBuggy123 (talk) 17:55, 11 February 2022 (UTC) This is Nicholas from Mam Phys by the way.DuneBuggy123 (talk) 18:20, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
 * oh hey Nick! Glad to have you in the same lab section! --Bitran0205 (talk) 07:59, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

Hello Bi,

This is Nicholas and I was assigned your page for copy edit and suggestions. You have some great facts listed out here and it was very interesting to read. I have a recommendation for you however. I think that the information presented is a bit muddled and might be better understood if listed in bullets.

"Avian kidneys function in almost the same way as the more extensively studied mammalian kidney, but with a few important adaptations; while much of the anatomy remains unchanged in design, some important modifications have occurred during their evolution. -A bird has paired kidneys which are connected to the lower gastrointestinal tract through the ureters. -Depending on the bird species, the cortex makes up around 71–80% of the kidney's mass, while the medulla is much smaller at about 5–15% of the mass. Blood vessels and other tubes make up the remaining mass. -Unique to birds is the presence of two different types of nephrons (the functional unit of the kidney) both reptilian-like nephrons located in the cortex and mammalian-like nephrons located in the medulla. -Reptilian nephrons are more abundant but lack the distinctive loops of Henle seen in mammals. -The urine collected by the kidney is emptied into the cloaca through the ureters and then to the colon by reverse peristalsis. " - from the kidney section of the Bird anatomy. This is a suggestion on how laying it out could help to distinguish each statement from the others. Great work! I know these edits will be very useful to the page overall.

DuneBuggy123 (talk) 21:35, 27 March 2022 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hi Bi,

Your information is relevant and I think your process for inserting an image of the kidney is laid out well. (I wish you luck on dissecting it!). Your source for the information you want to add in the kidney section of the bird anatomy page also is peer reviewed and reliable which is good. The only grammatical thing I could find in the changes you want to make is that “water re absorption” becomes “water reabsorption” in your final edit. Also, have you looked at other pages that might possibly cross-reference this information? (ie: Kidney page, the page for Chicken, etc.). I know my team had to look at a lot of different wiki pages when adding in information to find the right spot for it, but it seems like you’ve got a good place you plan to insert these changes. Your edits are well thought out and look good.

- Grace, On The Nile (talk) 16:58, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hi Bi,

I found your edits to be very interesting and I enjoyed reading them. All of the information that you want to edit is neutral which is a good thing, and all of the sources that you found are peer reviewed which takes a lot of pressure off you. I love the idea of you editing the avian kidney section of the Bird anatomy article, and I also thought it is a great idea taking pictures of the chickens kidney, even though I think it will be a difficult task. I also had a similar idea of taking pictures of my project animal and inserting them into wikipedia. I couldn't see the image of yours when I clicked on it so you may want to check it out. Overall, I like the idea of your edits and I think it will be really fun to edit and learn more about the chicken kidneys. White367 (talk) 02:42, 4 April 2022 (UTC)

Bi's Comment
Dear Peer Reviewers,

Thank you guys for all the feedback for my first draft.

From the comments, I should: Fix the “water reabsorption” as noted by Grace. Per Nicholas’s review, I should start to list the information out, because it can help the reader understand it better. Also, it seems like one of my photos doesn’t work, so I need to try to troubleshoot that. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bitran0205 (talk • contribs) 16:52, 8 April 2022 (UTC)