User talk:BloodDoll/Archive 4

Welcome to WP:Novels
Welcome to WP:Novels, currently we aren't doing any major collaborations, but we do need some help assessing unassessed articles. If you need any help, or identify any articles that need to be reassessed bring it up at the Project talk page or the Assessment department, Sadads (talk) 12:15, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Story-line-like
what i meant by that was to reveal the story-line in the order it did in the series. it already revealed the climax in the beginning, and it needs to be reworded a bit. it would trim some of the beginning so it doesn't need to give such detail explanation and then reveal what section 9 found out in a more simpler way.Bread Ninja (talk) 22:36, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The big problem with doing it that way, in my opinion, is that the series reveals the Laughing Man incident in a very convoluted way for storytelling purposes. But on Wikipedia, the plot summary is supposed to explain, in a clear fashion, what the main storyline is all about - without going into convoluted details. Central to GitS:SAC is the Laughing Man incident, hence explaining the incident in detail right away. Basically, readers of the GitS:SAC wiki article want clear information - not a story. Also, imagine what a task it would be to explain every "Complex" SAC episode blow-by-blow in the summary. It would be way too long, and as I said in the edit summary, you risk falling into an in-universe style that way. My two cents. -BloodDoll (talk) 22:47, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, and yes - I do agree it can be trimmed a bit. The length is long, but not overly long. The problem with simplifying it is that you don't want to cut a vital explanation out. Remember, we are familiar with the subject matter but it must be written like an encyclopedia - that is, we must assume the reader knows nothing (or hardly anything) about the series. Hence the explanations, such as what the Laughing Man incident was all about, the Interceptors, etc. -BloodDoll (talk) 22:52, 2 September 2010 (UTC)


 * Well the story plot i doubt will fall in in-universe style if we do write in the order it went in the series. But if the reader doesn't know about it, we don't necessarily need to give the climax in the beginning. for example, we don't need to give such detail in the detective that discovered interceptors in the investigators eyes. and as for the laughing man incident, that can be mentioned in the beginning due to flow of the story, but not the truth behind it.


 * Why? because the laughing man incident was mainly about the mysterious terrorist who hacked everyone's eyes, not being able to know his face. the truth behind it doesn't really affect why it's called the laughing man incident. so that can be mentioned in the plot.Bread Ninja (talk) 23:13, 2 September 2010 (UTC)


 * I really don't think it's possible to write a concise plot summary by following the twists and turns of the episodes in the series. There are too many details and too much explanation would be required. You'd end up with a huge plot summary that way.


 * Here's the structure of the plot summary (as I see it) right now:


 * Paragraph one: briefly explains the setting of the series (Japan, 2030, New Port), the main characters (Section 9), and the format of the series (Stand-Alone episodes vs. Complex episodes).


 * Paragraph two: Explains the original Laughing Man incident (the kidnapping and getaway) and how it happened (Aoi discovers the internal memo on cyberbrain sclerosis and its implications).


 * Paragraph three: Explains the fake Laughing Man incidents occurring after the initial incident. It also leads into the next paragraph by explaining why top police officials would be spying on the Laughing Man task force members.


 * Paragraph four: Now that the reader has the background information on the Laughing Man incident and the fake Laughing man incidents, we go into a shortened version of the main storyline. This paragraph explains why Section 9 started their investigation of the Laughing Man (the detective friend of Togusa's and the photos).


 * Paragraph five: Very short summary of the main events in the series. Here it is not necessary to go into detail on how Section 9 figures out the Laughing Man incident etc. If the reader wants to know all the convoluted events that lead to Section 9 figuring it out, they can watch the series. Also, it would take up too much space to put in all the details of the episodes.


 * Paragraph six: Summary of the ending episodes and the conclusion of the series.


 * I think this is a pretty clear plot structure and does a good job of explaining the major events of the series without getting bogged down in the details of what happened when. If we write it like you suggest, we'd have to explain every "Complex" episode, all in the plot section. Besides, if readers do want a more detailed explanation, they can always go to List of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex episodes. That is exactly why there is the "See also" at the beginning of the Plot section which points to the list of episodes. -BloodDoll (talk) 23:49, 2 September 2010 (UTC)


 * you got the summarizing idea right, just not the "order". laughing man incident is the laughing man incident, whatever truth came up in the plot wouldn't matter. the only truth to is is the motive behind it. it wont change what the laughing man incident is. the truth about the incident should be mentioned in the story not in the beginning, because it's more story related than background information. the "fake" (not really fake, just the vague information you get at the start) incident should be mentioned in the beginning for background purposes. And no i don't think about mentioning every "complex" episode in the plot, just think the order could be rearranged to more plot-line wise.Bread Ninja (talk) 00:20, 3 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Ok how about this: take the existing plot summary and rearrange it the way you think it should be structured. Or just write a new one. Then, post the new plot summary on the talk page for GitS:SAC and we can discuss it. -BloodDoll (talk) 00:27, 3 September 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll just say it the simplest i can. mention the "truth" behind the laughing man incident in the story, while the initial idea of the laughing man incident in the first paragraphs explaining the background. basically "paragraph 2" be part of "paragraph 5"Bread Ninja (talk) 00:37, 3 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Right, how about this:

Stand Alone Complex takes place in the year 2030, in the fictional Japanese city of New Port. The series follows the members of Public Security Section 9, a special operations task-force made up of former military officers and police detectives. The series is composed of individual cases that Section 9 investigates, along with an ongoing, more serious investigation into the complex Laughing Man incidents. These incidents consist of the kidnapping and release of a micro-machine corporation CEO by a skilled hacker, followed by a series of corporate terrorism and blackmail attacks.

At the start of the series, a detective belonging to a police task force investigating the Laughing Man incidents inadvertently discovers that several members of the task force have been injected with specialized micro-machines referred to as Interceptors. These micro-machines accumulate in the eyes and act as remote cameras, allowing authorized users to see from the visual perspective of the person injected with them. For unknown reasons, top police officials are spying on the task force using this method. The detective then tries to meet with Togusa, a friend and fellow detective recruited into Section 9 several years prior, but is murdered on the way by his superiors. Luckily, the detective sends Togusa an envelope as a backup before leaving for the meeting. The envelope contains a series of surveillance photos taken from the viewpoint of the Interceptors in the task force members. Togusa, although initially confused, quickly figures out the abnormal viewpoint of the photos and alerts Section 9 chief Aramaki.

As a result of the surveillance photos, Section 9 immediately launches its own independent investigation of the Laughing Man incidents. This investigation is the main storyline of the series. Throughout the course of their investigation, Section 9 discovers the background behind the original Laughing Man incident, who was really responsible for the subsequent attacks on micro-machine corporations, and the identity of the Laughing Man. The Laughing Man turns out to be an accomplished computer hacker who discovered an internal memo on a form of sclerosis called cyberbrain sclerosis in the year 2024. The internal memo reveals that a tuberculosis vaccine is more effective at treating the disease than an emerging therapy using micro-machines. Members of the micro-machine industry in Japan and the Japanese government suppressed the memo in order to profit from the costly but less effective micro-machine therapy being developed. Outraged, the hacker kidnapped the CEO of fictional micro-machine corporation Serano-Genomix, and at gunpoint, tried to convince him to disclose the ineffectiveness of the therapy on live TV. The CEO refused, and the Laughing Man fled the scene. To protect his identity, he simultaneously hacked every electronic device viewing him and replaced his face with a stylized laughing face instead. The brazen kidnapping and the hacking skill required to make his getaway turned the Laughing Man, as he is now called, into a folk hero. The internal memo on cyberbrain sclerosis, however, remained hidden from the Japanese public until Section 9's investigation.

This kidnapping is revealed to be the original Laughing Man incident, while the corporate terrorism and blackmail attacks supposedly carried out by the Laughing Man after the original incident are revealed to be fakes. These attacks, which caused the stocks of micro-machine corporations to dive, were in fact part of a massive stock manipulation scheme intended to force a government rescue of the targeted corporations. The success of the scheme benefited micro-machine CEOs and government officials, who became extremely wealthy as a result. The Laughing Man was essentially used as a scapegoat, and the special police task force was formed to investigate the incidents. Understandably worried that the truth would come out, top officials in the Japanese police and various internal government ministries spied on the police task force using Interceptors - attempting to make sure the truth about the fake incidents and the internal memo on cyberbrain sclerosis remain hidden from the Japanese public.

Because Section 9's investigation of the Laughing Man incidents ends up implicating top executives of micro-machine corporations and prominent members of the Japanese government in criminal activity, Section 9 becomes the target of a public misinformation campaign to discredit it. In addition, extensive efforts are made to eliminate Section 9 members at all costs. Near the end of the series, Section 9 is declared a rogue organization by the Japanese government. To survive, Section 9 members carry out an elaborate deception, leading the Japanese government and military forces to believe Section 9 members have all been killed; Section 9 itself is temporarily disbanded by chief Aramaki.

The members of Section 9, safely in hiding, disseminate information on the internal memo concerning cyberbrain sclerosis and the truth about the fake Laughing Man incidents. This causes a public scandal, leading to the downfall of the Japanese Prime Minister and his administration, as well as several micro-machine corporations and their CEOs. In the aftermath of the scandal, Section 9 is reinstated to its former position in secret. The Laughing Man himself, now revealed to be a skilled young hacker by the name of Aoi, is offered a position at Section 9 but refuses. The series ends with the members of Section 9 once again settling into their accustomed routines. -BloodDoll (talk) 01:16, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

Sounds good. i just bolded what isn't more or less needed or seems to not be neutral. sounds god for now. If it can be trimmed even futher later on, then I'm sure we could fix itBread Ninja (talk) 05:15, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

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