User talk:Bmkeaty/sandbox

=1st Edit Evaluations=

4/24/2019 Nick's Peer Review
I really enjoyed reading the information you added. The paragraph was concise, and conveyed enough information without too much, or too little. The one issue I will mention, however, is that there is no citation! I'm not sure if you're planning to add one, but I felt I should mention it before you may want to precede towards your final edit. Other than that, your grammar seemed fine to me, as well as the presentation of the page. There was a lot of relevant content that lead for a fluid paragraph of information. I would just worry about your citation and references.

5/6/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 05:23, 7 May 2019 (UTC)


 * Points: 34/40
 * Grade: 85%

Spelling/Grammar
Does not meet standard.
 * "...Nuremberg was hub for advanced..." ...was a hub...
 * "...metal works which paved the..." place comma between 'works' and 'which', or replace 'which' with 'that'.
 * "... for the countries system..." country's
 * "...railways and transportation methods." Since railways are 'a' transportation method, you would want to write "railways and other transportation methods."
 * "Germany's railway system was started in Nuremberg in 1853 by Friedrich Harkort,"
 * "...the countries first steam..." country's
 * "...steam powered engine" -> steam-powered engine

Language
Meets standard.
 * "Germany's railway system started in Nuremberg in 1853 by Friedrich Harkort." This makes it sound like Harkort did it single-handedly, which cannot be the case. Rephrase to make Harkort's role a bit clearer.

Organization
Meets standard.

Coding
Nearly meets standard. There is an error in the second reference. The issue seems to be the date format. With a journal article, it is only necessary to report the year, not the month or date. Taking off the -03 should fix the problem.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.

5/22/2019 Evaluation by Ponads17
Hi Ben, I think you did good in packing a lot of information into your two paragraphs, and I agree with Nick when he says it was very concise, which I think is good. However, he also made a good point when he pointed out that you didn't cite any of your information. I'm also not sure where your first paragraph fits into the greater layout of the page, it fits into a lot of different categories. On top of that, you only have two sources, we needed more than that for our first edit, so I'd expect more for the second. As for the Transport paragraph, it seems like you are mixing more historical facts or trivia with little to do with the actual transport of modern Strasbourg, which I think is what is expected of pages about contemporary European cities, in fact it is just that it hosts a museum. Finding good sources can be hard, so i get it, and you did pack a lot of info into that first paragraph, but you need to cite, get more sources, and maybe rethink where your information fits into the Strasbourg page. A few typos, such as "where hundreds of citizens danced for many, some even dying of exhaustion." Overall, I think it is a good first draft, but it needs work. 3 4 3 4 4 3 3 2 2 2 75%

5/23/2019 Nick's Peer Review - Strasbourg
Hey Ben,

I will just list the things I would personally fix about your edit. - 'with personalities such as' I would change it to, 'with notable figures such as', personalities sounds more like language for a novel, not an annotation. - 'where hundreds of citizens danced for many,...' I think you left this unfinished... they danced for many days, hours? I have heard about this 'plague' before, and it's pretty odd. I remember reading about one where people couldn't stop laughing...

Otherwise, I think it's decent. I understand its hard to locate sources, I think I went through five pages of google searches just to find some articles where my topic was only briefly mentioned. I would, however, urge you to try to find more sources for the variety of issues Strasbourg faced over the years.

==6/13/2019 Nick's Peer Review - Ulm ==

Hey Ben,

Apologies on the lateness. I'll just give you 'rapid fire' resolutions I would aim to fix before handing your edit in.

Spelling, Grammar
"Interesting sights here are.." maybe 'Some interesting sights include' ' gable is an astronomical clock dating from 1520' I would change to 'gable, as astronomical clock built in 1520' 'Germany Turkish theater with a steady calendar of events and regular shows', maybe to 'theater that provides year round events.'

Language
Meets standard.

Organization
Some of your headings still have code in them! Or at least from what I see.

Validity
Meets Standard, I had to translate most of the pages!

Completion
Needs more references. 8/20 so far!

Relevance
Meets standard.

Nick Regan's Peer Review
Nick's contributions to the Gothenburg page was substantial. There was good grammar and punctuation with concise content that gave a good overview of the city's economy. It was well organized and touched briefly on a number of aspects of the economy. The only critique I have would be to for it to be incorporated with the information already in the published wiki page on the city's economy. There's a lot of good information here that really just should be piggy backing off of the info in the published version. This content stand on it's own though, and I even forgot I was reading a sand box and thought it was the published page. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bmkeaty (talk • contribs) 22:34, 15 June 2019 (UTC)