User talk:Bmoli004/sandbox

Governor's Day, October 27, was an exceptional day to be at the exposition since a special mural was unveiled to represent the new South.

- the phrase "was an exceptional day to be at the exposition" is biased and not a neutral statement, a possible replacement could be "was an important date for the exhibition because..." Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

The artist J.H Moser named his mural "The New South Welcoming the Nations of the Earth." The painting was highly admired by those who got the chance to see it.

- "...had the chance to see it" is more professional. Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

The mural was never found and no images of the painting were ever recovered but should be acknowledged since the image summed up the message intended by the exposition.

- "... but it should be acknowledged, since..." Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

The image was centered around an attractive brunette girl with the American flag wrapped around her. She is depicted with one hand pointing towards the exhibit while having her other above a bale of cotton.

- which hand in which direction? could be good info if the source mentions it. Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

Above her, Uncle Sam is shown also welcoming the visitors. Columbia is in the back displayed with a smile of approval and Clio is shown with a pen ready to keep record of this special event. Interestingly, Moser includes African Americans in a cotton field picking the staples

- "Columbia is in the background displayed..." Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

- the word interestingly can be seen as a way to show bias, a replacement word should be found, or the word should be removed. Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

The exposition actually demonstrated the cotton gins in action. The machine would pick the cotton straight from Oglethorpe's field and from there was taken to a Cromptom loom. In the Cromptom loom it was woven into cloth and taken to the main building, the Wheeler and Wilson exhibit. At the end of the day handsome suits would be created and tailored for the governor to wear in the evening.

- could replace the word handsome with professional, less bias. Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)

The whole process was exhibited in the exposition and done in only a day. On Governor's Day the two governors of the North and South wore their freshly made suits to the ball clad. This was seen as a huge milestone for the union of the North and South

All of the information seems relevant to the topic of the exhibit, it has nothing which was taking me off topic. Some of the wording could have been seen as not neutral, I have pointed this out above when I noticed them. I do not see any references/citations, if you are having issues citing use with the citation in between the ><. Because I do not see any citations I cannot check to see if any of your information is from a reliable reference or if the sources are neutral or bias. Bmitc004 (talk) 19:41, 24 May 2019 (UTC)