User talk:Bohbz

Hey what's going on...

I feel like we had this conversation before...

Now I want to say a few things but it is contrary to my company so your the only person whom I know I can open my mouth to, granted if they read my words then I'm probably screwed, even if these words aren't at all which I want to talk about, they could leave me in trouble. Hard to know where I stand when they haven't known me since time started it's journey, and by that I mean from one's perspective. Time started at least 500 million years as for myself I'm barely thirty years old. Just thinking that I'm around thirty years old gives me the impression that I'm an old geezer, I miss my youthful self, ten years ago I'd have scolded myself for such a notion...things have a style of changing.

Today I'm having a realization that a job is a job, should I protect having one, run the risk of not, what you think is not necessarily what it will be. Time has a way of washing the pebbles your feat are friends with.

There was little that she knew, the weather was always the same, humid. It was like summer in Israel hot today, hot tomorrow. Not much she wanted. When everything is new there is next to nothing to feel let down about. Let down was a reaction to expectation. So instead she got to react to the few selection of thoughts that would meander across her mind. Currently it was the perception of her grand-parent. Granted one one can't know doesn't inherit any perceptions. She could only believe in their goodness and it reciprocated in her well being. In her mind-set the grand-parent fought one it perceived as evil. If the combatant was good or bad was well beyond her perception of understanding, one one doesn't really know can't be sided. Her grand-parent might not even be alive, if death was trying to vie for her inexistence, it might side with family even if the elder had a large, giving heart. Until one can feel certain their is always the reality of doubt. At the start of her existence there was almost nothing she could feel certain about. The world that she perceived didn't have the same predictable instabilities that your world knew so well. Train's didn't even exist, let along run late or follow a sluggish leader. So she met with the ideology of thoughts

You don't have to forget who that person was to you; only accept that they aren't that person anymore.

There was only one thing he had to do. Life wasn't extremely complicated, one truly only needed to breath regularly and eat once every other week. The mentality that one was supposed to eat three meals a day, was the onset of luxury being regularity. "If you only eat once every two weeks, then your going to be starving your whole life, even that one time you eat you could be hungry." She was so difinative, and yet she'd never gone a whole day without a meal. Even on the day she fasted, she still met sundown with a nice piece of fritata and a bagel with creamcheese and lox. "What do we care so much about?" He asked in a fashion that acted like people were caring for all the wrong reason's "Being human is about the ability to care at all. We'd be no different than toads and crickets if we didn't care about anything." "Well isn't hunger important to them? They are always interested in not being hungry.  "And yet, they don't spend their whole days only eating." "No I suppose part of the time they have to work to provide their ability to eat. Providing the ability, doesn't make them eternally hungry. "No it's just time right?" "Without time, I don't think anything would cross our mind" "Aren't we what perceive time's movement, it, doesn't technically exist in the physical world." Whether it has mass is not what gives us the impression of it's existence, many things like light or math, even email don't really exist much more than than our presumption of it's reality.

He wasn't the person he remembered, though he had the same chin, the guy he'd once been had an unfortunate accident, he'd passed away without a funeral, so he should have been alright with all of that guy's ex-girlfriends finding a new love to spend the night with. And yet he was jealous of that guy, he'd had the ability to waaste time at a bar, burn a hole in his sentiment of being, this new person was filled with rules and limitations. The person he used to call hisself, had made mistakes. There was HumanImperfect, and there was Marion, these two entitees kept him from being a man. As the body he knew aged.

There wasn't much for the new girl to do. One could imagine and almost none were as good at it as her, but when, one's whole world is a reflection of the inside, there is fairly little to reflect upon. "I should know" She replied with a sound state of confusion in her well being. "They'll be words. Just give them time." The physician talked to her like a small child and she didn't understand anything ironic in such a statement. "But..."she began to stammer. "See just take your time and the words will follow your well-being." "Who am I she asked." "You are your parent's daughter,

One begin's one's understanding of the world as if confusion were the norm. "Who am I?" she asks, And the doctor doesn't frown upon her ignorance. "You will become who you are," they reply reassuringly, as if she'd begin to discover who she was. "Wha..."began but it had no place to rest in the hospital. The girl she'd discovered, was not the woman that sat as her. "Briana" The nurse chimed. The name sounded familiar as if she'd once known somebody with the same name. "Ooh?" Finished the word she'd begun, but it wasn't received by anyone. "Come with us dearie." She'd half expected a hand to take her by her own but then the world started to melt past her. "I don't feel my legs." She began which was quickly misinterpreted. "What?" Asked the therapist readying themselves for the bomb to be dropped beside themselves.

"I'm so lazy, I don't even make sense." He wouldn't stop smiling as he made his analogy and for those who might not have been in earshot, he repeated himself. "What does that even mean?" She asked picking his bait. "Why would it mean anything?" He asked. "It doesn't make sense." He made a ha-ha sentiment which garbled. Her mindset was that he was an absurd sentiment of being. "You don't even exist." She sneered in a positive state of being. "If that's true," He snarfed, "then what am I doing in your mental state of being?  If you're thinking about me, I can't like, not exist." She deemed there was logic in his statement which made her parry. "If you exist then, your being logical, and if your being logical, then you make sense, and if your making sense, then how lazy can you really be?" She smiled at her intelligible mindset. "What are you smiling about?" He asked snubbing her well-being. "Just my understanding that you are whom I deem you to be." "And who are we?" "We are the off-shoot of some being, as a result of the very notion of our existence." She proclaimed with a smile on her face. "Well," he parried, "we're so lazy, we don't even make sense." To this he started laughing again and started moving him and his walker down the hallway. "Where are you going?" She found herself asking though enjoyed the sight of his leaving her social circle. "I'm going to relinquish yourself back to your lack of existence." He chirped, though there was a twinge of sadness in his voice, she was the first person whom had replied to his sentiment sounded touched, tragically he thought, life without her might not even exist. Brianna kept waiting for that moment when it all made sense, like there were people waiting in the wing of life, ready to say 'surprise.' Every room she walked into she expected it to occur, and every room seemed to let her down. Fortunately for her even being let down tickled a smile upon her lips. "Who are you?" Asked the doctor. "Who is anybody, people believe they are somebody, but there is a fair possibility that they are just a shade of the mindset of somebody else." "Do really believe that we don't exist?" He asked which shimmied a sleight smile on the edge of his well-educated face. "I can't quite say," she replied, "I'm not even sure what I look like." "Well next time you find your reflection, maybe take a moment to get to know yourself." The doctor smiled as he help converge her reality with existence.

The next time she found herself in the window. She had no impression of her stance, the person was but the frail resemblance of a face. "Hi." She remarked though she felt frail talking with only herself to respond. "What?" She asked aggressively "Nothing," the meager version of herself replied. Then she felt a stout feeling grasp her underbelly and pull it further down. "Who were you?" She finally chortled "Aren't I you?" "And who am I?" "Your a new version of your old self." "I miss who I once was." She meagerly replied but her vision of that person was deeply blurred. "Even you seem to be a mis-amalgamation of myself" "Don't you mean miss," She replied with a snicker of her voice. "Isn't that what I said," She stammered deeply confused. "Just because your at a moment of deep confusion, doesn't mean you should lose your well being...I'm not such a bitch you know." She said laughing at the absurdity of the moment. "What has become...of reason," she started, "of everything" she followed and felt the tears welling in her eye's. "Don't"  She urged, "Don't, don't, don't" she stammered trying to keep herself from crying though she felt the tears creep to her eyes despite the window's loose vision of herself.

"What's going on?" Asked a male voice in the hallway behind her. She felt an instant reluctance to turn, not that she even could. "Nothing" rasped her voice in an unnaturally defensive state of being. "It didn't sound like nothing in the hallway. Are you fighting with somebody?" He was acting incredibly sympathetic which she couldn't quite comprehend. "Who would I be fighting with?" She asked diplomatively. "I don't know? There is plenty of that room I can't see, not to mention the cell-phone." "The wha?" She began and almost instantly bit her lowwer lip for inducing conversation. "You don't know?" he asked, and she couldn't see it but she felt the smile creep across his face and the sound of his feat shuffling closer. "No, I know" She quickly retorted, "it's one of those things." "One of those things," he began aloofly. "Whatever, you got your whole life to remember what these things are." He said waving the little black box from his back pocket. "I'm Ryan," he said now standing beside her with his hand extended to her. "Alright," she replied and realizing he could now bear witness to her teared face, she did what she could to turn away from him. "Okay," he replied quick. There was a meager twisted feeling made awkward, but he didn't wan't to make her feel worse. "Sorry," he began in almost an intuitive nature. "No, it's me." She replied with a concerted sniffle, "I am just not myself." "Well," he began but held his intention, then the bravado kicked in, "who are you?" He asked feeling himself start to smile for what appeared to be no reason. "Who I am, I've yet to realize," she relayed, then thrust her hand instinctively into his own. "But my name is Brianna." She squaked, still wishing his face didn't have to bear witness to the state of her own. "Oh," he squandered, "it's a privelidge to get to know you Brianna."

He shouldn't have written about her on the internet, but he didn't know who else he could talk to. Technically it didn't count as talking to anybody even if everybody could hear his words. They have to look to listen he said convincing himself of his well being. She was beautiful he stammered. It wasn't what she wore for the seats distracted his view, it wasn't her height because she was seated, it wasn't the shape of her body of the color of her eyes. It was the incessant curling of her hair. Every time her hair turned in her hand, it turned him on.

She didn't see through him. She needed more details of reality to know why everyone acted the way they did. Not that it always had the answer of people's attitudes. Sometimes she would think she got it all before she noticed her hands were empty, nuance was so convoluted that it nearly turned her stomach. "Do you want to see me?" She asked, which convoluted his sentiment of being. "Excuse me?" He asked nearly turning around in a circle dramatically. "Your the one turning away from the moment," she sneered

"Is it a big deal if don't?" He asked in a backwards sentiment, which set him into a pure state of disbelief with his words. Who are you he asked the mirror behind her head. The face replied stunned, your a fool. "No it's me," she said robbing his sentiment of being. He didn't anticipate this change of scenery but if he'd thought about it, he might have seen it coming. "Hunh," he began but quickly got back on his feet. "Sorry, I can't imagine that I've got much of a look." She said, slightly kicking the side of her wheelchair. "Well, your not ugly," he stammered addamently and instantly felt, like he was pushing his presence out of position. "Hunh?" She asked as she turned her chair more directly in his direction. He might not have been the person the childish version of herself had envisioned she'd marry, not that she trusted the choices of her childish self. Afterall she'd tried eating another person's long hair before she realized how inedible the substance was. "What can I say" he asked in a sense of sheer disbelief that this was culminating in such an unpredictable fashion. "Well your mouth's probably good at doing a lot more things then just speaking words." She said with a sly sentiment of being which she nearly instantly felt convoluted for having been so seductive, she wanted to kick herself but her legs didn't have an angle.

"So you'll go out with me?" "Why, is that illegal in the hospitals perspective?" "I'm sure they wouldn't like such an endeavor, though I don't think they have a legal right to make such a regulation." He smile though he slightly made an incriminating look over his shoulders. "What's that about," she asked inquisitively, which he quickly pushed aside. "I'm just checking to see if anybody was paying attention to us." He suggested with a rather strange look on his face from her perspective. "I think we're all good," he said with a rather dubious smile. "Well then, you have anything you want to do?" She asked with an attempt at being sultry but instantly became nervous, what if he said he wanted to go dancing or play sports. It was still a new sentiment of being that she might not be able to do everything that he might want. "We could go to a movie?" He suggested which she took minor offense to, almost as if she wanted him to suggest something that she couldn't physically do. "What?" He replied to her emotion which he found slightly defensive. "Sorry," she responded with a deflated sentiment, "we can go to the movies." "Is there anything you want to see?" "Um," she said with a sideways gulp, "I didn't experience the last six moths, so I don't really know what's playing." "Well, was there anything you'd wanted to see, before the accident happened." He didn't know what to expect from such a sentiment, if there was something would it even still be viewable. To this she became instantly sad. "I don't remember," she said biting her lower lip trying to fight the inevitable tears from falling. "I'm sorry," he began, he'd born witness enough to have been able to presume such a reaction but he'd grown so attached to her he'd stopped seeing her as a victim. She was not just another person to him, he had to remind himself, as his mind reeled he grabbed some tissues from the nightstand and instinctively handed it to her which only made her more driven to fight the very tears from existence.

There was significant feelings but they could find very few ways to express them. "Who am I" Resonated almost eerily in their mindsets, though they seemed to know who they, were even if it wasn't clear in the singular variety.

She wouldn't let him have a piece of her life, but she wouldn't stop him from taking a slice. There was a game to everything, one just needs to learn how to play, follow the rules.