User talk:Brablg/sandbox

Feedback on article This article is very complete and well organized. However, it has some problems with grammar and tone that need to be fixed before it can be published. Therefore, I am rating it '2' - not quite ready. For example, in the second sentence - "an open affront on behaviorist psychological paradigms". An affront is an insult or offense, usually to a person. And you don't make an affront on, but to. The right word is attack - I imagine you changed attack to affront while paraphrasing from another source. You need to carefully proofread this article and make corrections like choosing the right words and correcting grammatical errors.

Other problems: 1. When you refer to authors, like Fancher and Rutherford, you must insert a reference citation. 2. Refer to him as Neisser, not Ulrich 3. Don't use colloquialisms like "stealing the spotlight." Formal, encyclopedic tone is necessary.

These fixes should be fairly quick and easy.J.R. Council (talk) 15:59, 30 April 2014 (UTC)

Not ready yet - rating still = 2
I read until I got to this sentence: "While Cognitive Psychology caused quite the stir in the psychological world, it was Neisser’s Cognition and Reality that contained some of Neisser’s most controversial ideas.[1]" This is not formal, encyclopedic tone. Also, you need to insert citations for these publications. For my preceding comment, I copied out a few examples that needed to be fixed in the last comment, but not all of them. It is not my job to proofread your whole article. I've decided to read articles until I hit a bad sentence, and then toss them back for further editing to make them suitable for publication. J.R. Council (talk) 01:03, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

One change and you're ready to publish
Please reword "caused quite the stir" more formally. You would not see a phrase like this in an encyclopedia. I noted this in my last comment - not sure why you didn't make the change. Once you do this, you are ready to publish. Nice work! J.R. Council (talk) 19:56, 2 May 2014 (UTC)