User talk:BradGallant/sandbox

Hey Brad!

I decided to review your article on Fort Pitt Provincial Park for this particular assignment. Great work so far! You've built a great basis for a really solid article, which is awesome. I've listed a couple of suggestions below for you to potentially incorporate into your article - don't feel like you have to listen to any of them haha, it's just what I noticed after reading it.

* You seem to go off on a tangent a little with the line regarding pemmican. I think you should remove that and keep the article more focused on Fort Pitt P.P, not pemmican. * The next paragraph talks about the lack of buffalo in the area around Fort Pitt P.P, which I think is a little confusing. You should add a sentence where you link the buffalo and Fort Pitt P.P together, because I didn't understand it the first few times I read it. * I noticed you say in the last paragraph of the lead section that "It (Fort Pitt P.P.) was located on a large bend int he river just east of the present day Alberta-Saskatchewan border". When you say the river - which river? Just a minor detail that needs fixing. Overall, great work! Just add some stuff about the minor details like I suggested and you're well on your way to writing a great article. Best of luck! James.Gough.93 (talk) 03:58, 15 February 2018 (UTC)