User talk:Briandances/sandbox

Peer Review

After reading your article draft the feedback I want to give is that it has a lot of great information, but it is hard to read the page. I think the best thing to do is clean up all the information and make the page a bit more organized. Not necessarily getting rid of information, but just maybe making sure all the information is relevant. One paragraph that stuck out the most to me was the Popular media section, I thin that paragraph is just to long and should be shortened. Lastly, I think you should add more sources because of the amount of information you have, it would seem as if the sources you have are not enough for all that information. These are minor changes that need to be done other then that I think it is a great draft. Biancaalvarez (talk) 22:53, 10 November 2017 (UTC)