User talk:BrittneyJ28/Mary Seacole

Hey, I love that you picked a woman that was so strong. This contribution can be improved by slightly adjusting its punctuation, grammar, and sources. The words "had caught" should be changed to "caught" because they are both past tense and make the sentence seem wordy. There should also be a comma before "and she would" because the "and" is connecting two full sentences. Combining the two sentences that refer to the war to contrast her achievements with her failures would also benefit this article. You could say, "She came back from the war with the respect of her male counterparts, but she lacked...". This contribution could also use another source to make what you are stating seem more reliable. This contribution is looking great, so far! You did a great job of including interesting facts! Takirajohns83 (talk) 00:23, 22 April 2020 (UTC)takirajohns83

Hey Brittney! Your contributions look amazing! I like how you went a little deeper with the details of the autobiography. However, while reading the section, I noticed a few changes I would make. I would remove "had" from in front of caught (in the first sentence you added). Additionally, I would also say "discusses" or "shares" instead of "talks about" just to make it seem a tad bit more factual. Also, to make it seem a bit more organized and to better the flow of the sentence, I would change the sentence that says "talks about how when she returned". Maybe saying the "time when she returned" instead would imorove the sentence flow. In the end, this section looks good overall and I believe it will be helpful to anyone who comes across it. Keep up the great work! Jcross323 (talk) 23:21, 22 April 2020 (UTC)Jcross323