User talk:Brookebalthrope/sandbox

Lead Section: Introductory Sentence: I think your introductory sentence could use improvement. I would focus on what NCAN is as in who makes it up for the most part or what they specifically do because even half way through the first paragraph I am kind of left confused as to what and who they really are. Summary/ Context: I think overall the first paragraph could be cleaned up grammatically. The sentences are very choppy and do not really flow together informationally.

Article: Organization: The article is organized into a series of paragraphs but is missing the headings and subheadings that are characteristic of a typical Wikipedia article. For my article I tried as best I could to mirror another movie’s Wikipedia page. This way I got a good idea of how normal movie pages are mapped out in order to have a better idea of how mine should be mapped out. My advice would be to give each paragraph a heading and then insert a table of contents into the article in order for the reader to be able to click to the topics they wish to read about in the article. Content: It is clear that you have added from the original Wikipedia article because I search it on Wikipedia, but because you did not post an author’s note or add any specific sections it was slightly unclear. For your final draft and reflection essay I would make sure to do that so Dr. Lowry is aware of all the hard work that you have put in! I think your article is pretty comprehensive overall. I personally might switch your last paragraph to your first behind the intro and try to expand on their history a little more because I am sure it is important! I think the coverage of the article was very balanced and you have presented the information in a tone appropriate for an encyclopedia and I do not think I could guess your perspective by reading the article.

References: Citations: Great job citing!! Sources: All of your sources seem appropriate to me! Completeness: Complete! Caddiedull (talk) 03:06, 17 April 2018 (UTC)Caddie Dull

Peer review
Lead section: There doesn't seem to really be a lead section as far as a summary goes. Maybe think about adding a summary sentence at the very beginning? Some of the info in the first paragraph could easily just be moved into its own specific section and make for a nice summary.

Article: The info in this article is all very well written, and interesting. However, the organization is somewhat lacking, try dividing the info into several sections all with a specific header to make the article more clearly organized.

References: Your references all look great, and all of your sources look credible.

Completeness: Complete (: Tessa.l.cooper (talk) 16:56, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

Your article seems to be well sited and very informative. The main thing I think you should maybe look into is finding a way to separate the information into groups and add headings so if anyone needs to look up something specifically it is easy to navigate and find things. I am curious as to what Fortnight for Freedom is maybe add a short explanation? I think you should maybe move the last paragraph about how the NCAN was founded towards the beginning of the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Schu13 (talk • contribs) 17:56, 18 April 2018 (UTC)