User talk:Bwylie11/sandbox

Maria's peer review
The article begins with a strong lead and explains what the topic will be about really well. I was, however, surprised how feminist has a bigger section than every other section on it. I believe that another great way to prove that poetry has been used as a tactic for consciousness-raising, might be including examples on the other sections. It might be more work or more research, but that it is just a suggestion. I believe that adding the Poetry section to this topic is a great way to show the power of it. Your edit mentions Audre Lorde as an example of an activist, but maybe adding another activist would also make it stronger. Again, that is just a suggestion. Reading the article that your group will edit, helped me realize that consciousness-raising is something Yosimar Reyes does (article my group will be editing). I will see how to incorporate it to my article. (Mevm21 (talk) 00:49, 26 November 2018 (UTC))

Maud's Peer Review
The article covers the execution of Consciousness Raising quite well. The bulk of the article is about the execution, or how Consciousness Raising is used as activism in various social and political realms. The Etymology section is a slightly confusing use of wording, and I think it would be helpful for that section to be reworded - something I think the student editor could also do to improve the article and make the topic more understandable.

The best improvement I could suggest is changing the structure of the article. Currently, the Poetry section was added under the 'Issues' section, along with 'Feminism,' 'Atheism,' and 'LGBT Rights.' As these are applications of Consciousness Raising, and Poetry is a method of Consciousness Raising, the Poetry topic should not fall under the same heading. Instead, a heading for Methods should be separate from the Issues heading. Lastly, the Poetry heading should be copy-edited to not be stylized in all caps. The content and citations seem to all be important and well-written. Maudamanda (talk) 18:51, 26 November 2018 (UTC)

Maude, thank you for your review of our page. I did change the section of Issues to Activism: Methods of Consciousness raising because as I wrote on the talk page of that article.. the topics discuss poetry, feminism, lgbt all utilized various forms of CR tools. As far as the poetry heading, that seems to be a Wikipedia thing as on my end that title is not all in caps. However, our specific section is also poetry and so we will not be adding anything to etymology because it is not something that we have studied in depth nor was it our intention when we selected this articleBwylie11 (talk) 18:24, 1 December 2018 (UTC).

Lisa's Peer Review
I appreciate that you added the specific subheadings that cover both poetry and LGBT rights. I also liked that you connected the poetry section to radical queer activism, and linked in Audre Lorde as an example. It looks as though you are in need of a citation at the end of the LGBT rights section. It looks like other than that, you provide an ample amount of citations which is great, in addition to links to other information that is mentioned throughout your paragraphs. — Preceding unsigned comment added by LisaH91 (talk • contribs) 01:33, 6 December 2018 (UTC)