User talk:Caelguez/C’s LGBTQ+ Peer Bullying, LGBTQ+ Supervisor and Subordinate Communication, and Queer and Crip Theory Intersections

A's Peer review of C
Hi C great work on your sand box post! In review you post the paragraph effectively addresses the selected topics of LGBTQ+ communication in the workplace and peer bullying. The paragraph appears neutral overall, focusing on presenting information rather than advocating for a particular viewpoint. The paragraph represents the viewpoints of both LGBTQ+ individuals and those addressing LGBTQ+ issues in the workplace and educational settings.

Great job with including citations, but I would provide at the end of each sentence to ensure it's cited correctly and doesn't flag you. The paragraph includes information from scholarly articles, which generally provide reliable support. The paragraph covers important aspects of LGBTQ+ communication in both workplace and educational settings. However, you could be more by including additional insights or perspectives from different sources. The paragraph starts with a clear lead sentence introducing the topic, which is helpful for readers. However, the writing could be more concise and add transition to better flow smoothly between ideas/concepts. The paragraph generally avoids bias and jargon, but it could be improved by defining terms more explicitly, particularly for readers unfamiliar with LGBTQ+ terminology. The paragraph maintains a third-person perspective and cites multiple sources. I would avoid using phrases like "in article __" and just say research shows to follow the correct way of how to write in Wiki. You appropriately used citations to support the points, but it could ensure that each sentence is directly supported by adding citation every two sentences.

Overall, the paragraph provides a solid foundation for discussing LGBTQ+ communication in workplace and educational settings, but it could be improved by helping those not similar with terminology by defining terms and add more citations at the end of sentences. Bennie&#38;thejets (talk) 16:27, 15 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Hello A, thank you for bringing it to my attention that I should cite at the end of each sentence so that it doesn't revoke my work. I will also be sure to include additional insights or perspectives from different sources. While also including better transitions into sentences with a clear and precise meaning behind them. I will define the definitions that I use so that it can be clearer for the reader. Caelguez (talk) 18:45, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Some thoughts..
Hi @Caelguez, Seems like you gathered a good list of reliable sources. I think a bit more work needs to be done to craft the contribution in a way that is informative and encyclopedic. Keep in mind you are writing for a world wide audience, and want to make the content as accessible as possible.

Intersectionality and LGBTQ+ Communication studies: What is intersectionality? How is it applied in LGBTQ+ communication studies?

Interpersonal LGBTQ+ communication: Remember you want to focus on the ideas that are being presented in the articles. So when it comes to supervisor and subordinate relationships, how are the theories of LGBTQ+ communications studies applied? Is there criticism of this research or of this application of LGBTQ+ communication studies in this specific area?

Also remember you want to put your inline citations at the end of the sentence.

I think the main takeaways are to be clear and informative with your writing. We're not trying to convince the reader these are things that need to happen to prevent school bullying or make the workplace safer (even though we might feel that way). As writers we want to the present the facts on what's been done, what it is when LGBTQ+ communication studies is applied to the workplace, or what it means to include ideas of LGBTQ+ communication studies to bullying, what are the considerations? I think you're on the right path and have good sources, just have to tweak the writing to be more clear and to be more encyclopedic. And remember you're writing about LGBTQ+ Communication studies, the field of study. That's the star of this article, so connect it back to LGBTQ+ communications studies. Looping in @OsaRosa. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 00:04, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Dr. E's Review
C, good start here thinking of how you are going to connect these articles in your final Wiki paragraphs. As A and Brianda note, you will need to transition this from “this article will…” to focusing on the topics. See my Canvas feedback for more info. OsaRosa (talk) 05:37, 16 April 2024 (UTC)


 * I will be replying to both sections here. Thank you, Brianda and Dr. E for the feedback. I will definitely be sure to define the terms that are understood, such as intersectionality, in my next draft. While also being more clear and concise while writing, for example, instead of saying "in this article...". I will also be sure to connect my wirting back to LGBTQ+ studies. Caelguez (talk) 20:09, 16 April 2024 (UTC)