User talk:Caleavy/sandbox

Hi, I read your passage and I think it's very clear and easy to read. It looks good and neutral. One thing I did notice though was that a lot of the sentences began with, "In so-and-so year" so I would suggest minor rearranging so they don't all begin the same way. I noted a couple errors in punctuation, mainly adding periods at the end of every sentence, for some reason they were missing right before there was a citation. Also add a hyphen (-) in "sit-in" and pay attention to commas, particularly in the second sentence. I might suggest, briefly mentioning what some of the outcomes of these efforts were as well. I'm not sure how available or concise those details are, so it just depends on what you found in the research. Lastly, I could not link to your sources. Make sure other people can find your sources easily. I just checked if mine were linked and noticed one is not listed, so I need to edit mine as well. From what I could see, all your sources came from BBC. I had a hard time finding good sources for my topic, so I'm not sure if you were experiencing the same thing. If possible try to find other sources as well that back up this information. Allegories 63 (talk) 03:13, 17 November 2016 (UTC)