User talk:Camille Ponzu/sandbox

Peer Review
Share the love


 * Your article included a good lead as it introduced the topic very well and briefly summarized the major sections of the article. However, it didn't include anything about the criticism of water footprint and virtual water so I suggest adding a sentence or two about it. In addition, for the section titled "Water use in continents," I suggest adding the rest of the continents as it provides the audience with information about which continents tend to use more water and which continents tend to use less water. Making these changes will help make the lead and article better. The most important thing you could do to improve the article is by finding more sources to use to add useful information for some sections of your article because they don't have enough details. The lead of your article helped me think about how I can change the lead of my article because right now, my lead is too short and doesn't briefly summarize the topic of the article and its major contents.

A clear structure


 * Sections titled "Definition and measures" and "History" should be before the section titled "Water availability" because it makes more sense for definitions and history to be before water availability because this article is focusing on water footprint. The audience needs to know the different kinds of water footprint and the history behind it before reading the other sections from this article. In addition, I think the section titled "Water footprint of individual consumers (Domestic Sector)" should be before the sections titled "Water footprint of products (Agricultural Section)" and "Water footprint of companies (Industrial Sector)" because in the lead they listed the domestic sector before the agricultural and industrial sector so its better to keep the same order.

A balancing act

Anonymous Lotus (talk) 04:34, 17 November 2019 (UTC) ~
 * There should be more information added to the domestic, agricultural, and industrial sectors because it says in the article that water use is divided into three sectors and we use water every day, so there should be a long list and lots of information on water use in these three sectors. In addition, the section titled "Water in continents" should include the water use of the rest of the continents, not just Europe and Asia. None of the sections of your article was off-topic or unnecessary because they all are related to water footprint, but I suggest changing the section titled "Environmental water use" to "Water use in the environment" for parallelism with the other section titles. Your article does not try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view and shows a lot of perspectives but in order to make it a better article, searching for more sources and more information is necessary.