User talk:Camuvin

AfC notification: User:Camuvin/sandbox has a new comment
 I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at User:Camuvin/sandbox. Thanks! DoubleGrazing (talk) 14:38, 11 April 2023 (UTC)

April 2023
Hello, and thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. This is just a note to let you know that I've moved the draft that you were working on to Draft:Mario Brero, from its old location at User:Camuvin/sandbox. This has been done because the Draft namespace is the preferred location for Articles for Creation submissions. Please feel free to continue to work on it there. If you have any questions about this, you are welcome to ask me on my talk page. Thank you. - Rich T&#124;C&#124;E-Mail 18:18, 11 April 2023 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: Mario Brero (July 22)
 Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Robert McClenon was:

The comment the reviewer left was:

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.


 * If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Mario Brero and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
 * If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
 * If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:WikiProject_Articles_for_creation/Help_desk/New_question&withJS=MediaWiki:AFCHD-wizard.js&page=Draft:Mario_Brero Articles for creation help desk], on the [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Robert_McClenon&action=edit&section=new&nosummary=1&preload=Template:AfC_decline/HD_preload&preloadparams%5B%5D=Draft:Mario_Brero reviewer's talk page] or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Robert McClenon (talk) 05:38, 22 July 2023 (UTC)

merge
I hope you can help with the merge ! Wuerzele (talk) 23:02, 25 July 2023 (UTC)

Hi, I saw you simply pasted your draft article into the existing article. That is no merge !--Wuerzele (talk) 17:41, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Your text is extremely wordy and IMO largely unencylopedic. It contains extensive quotes, lots of factual repetitions. What you should have done instead is looking at is what is already there and woven in what additional info you have. Your choice of sections is odd (e.g. present activities). An entire paragraph is basically uncited- triple reference at the end not withstanding, as the reader doesnt know which of the 3 references cites what detail. You should really source each sentence, unless one paragraph is sourced by one reference, see WP:cite. As far as style: You use inline external links which are disallowed, and repeat Wikipedia links, see WP:MOS You use present tense. This should be avoided, UNLESS you write, so that the reader of tomorrow has a reference point of when this was written. Lastly, please familiarize yourself with the use of quotation marks on WP; This is not a newspaper.

All in all, your "dump" will cost a lot of time to clean up the article.--Wuerzele (talk) 22:12, 1 August 2023 (UTC)