User talk:Canoefan1

Graham Vickery
Graham Augustine Vickery, born on September 24th, 1934 is an Canadian actor and full time canoe enthusiast. Graham is originally from Kincardine, Ontario, a small town located off the shores of lake Huron known primarily for its fishing and the Nuclear Power plant that resides several kilometers northwest. It was there that Graham first discovered his passion for canoeing and acting.

With an IQ of roughly 160, Graham often found the local education system to be quite mundane and often boredom would set in. At this point he would often fake illness or create such a ruckus that the teachers, whom he loved, would dismiss him to keep the rest of the class in order. He would often head out on the lake for a quick canoe ride to gain serenity or to quickly snap one off, if the mood struck.

Born to English immigrants Pants Vickery and Pauline Herschberg, Graham was raised in a nurturing but terribly poor household where one of the few possessions the family owned was a prized canoe, handed down for generation to generation. It appears as nobody quite knows how many generations the canoe had been in the family and when asked Graham has often responded with this similar response "I don't know how old the canoe is, alright? Get off my back you piece of garbage". Graham would often go out in the canoe with his father and rehearse Shakespeare (as it was his fathers favorite playwright). Its quite easy to see that Graham was destined for greater things.

Shortly after Graham turned 20 he drunkenly accepted a dare that he couldn't canoe across the Hudson Bay in 24 hours. A small wager was made and Graham took off in his canoe at a feverish pace. 2 hours and 14 minutes later Graham arrived on the other side of the bay without breaking a sweat. Some accused him of being a witch and tried to have him burned. After a 4 month trial he was found not guilty and was free to carry on with his life. The legend had begun.

In 2011, Graham was cast in the lead to the indie film Monster Brawl. After a heated dispute with the director, Grahams roll was severely diminished to a cameo scene where he was attacked and killed by Swamp Gut. Swamp Gut was devastated that he had to kill Graham on screen and after the movie ended he returned to his swamp and hung himself.

Despite the controversy in his first film, he was recently cast in the new Martin Scorsese film The Wolf of Wall Street. Graham is rumored to be playing a brutal FBI agent Fitzgibbons O'Shaughnessy, tasked with hunting down the evil monsters working on wall street.

Graham has stated that he considers Martin Scorsese, Kevin Bacon, David Spade, and Queen Latifah as his best Hollywood friends.

Graham is currently working on the screenplay to the sequel to Monster Brawl: Monster Brawl 2: Revenge of the canoeist.

Graham currently resides in Collingwood

Among other things, Graham is currently up for the Nobel Peace Prize in modelling and it was rumored that he was the reason that Biggie Smalls was popped!!

Graham is also one of the premier conspiracy buffs in all of Collingwood. One of his boldest claims was that Jackie Kennedy actually killed her husband while riding in the car right beside him. Graham claims to have been there and saw Jackie pull out a tiny revolver and shoot him in the head. He also claims that she was caught in a bar boasting about what she had done hours afterwords.

Graham has claimed that he once vomitted out a complete wig. C list celebrity Jason Biggs has confirmed the story, claiming "It happened when we were on a canoe trip. It was Graham, myself, Ving Rhames and Lou Diamond Phillips out on the mighty Missisippi when all at once Graham started complaining about an upset stomach. He then just starting puking his brains out and out comes this massive red wig. It was weird. Oddly enough it convinced Ving to sign on to do a sequel to Pirhanna 3D" Graham has never spoken publicly about the incident and has threatened to kill anyone who tries to pry into his past. Canoefan1 (talk) 15:03, 7 April 2012 (UTC)