User talk:Carlmo1357/Mothers' rights

Peer Review Notes
Hi Molly! I think you have a great topic that is large enough that you have plenty to write about. While reviewing what you have written for this article I made some slight changes to some weirdly worded sentences as well as fix the occasional spelling error. The biggest thing that I noticed is the you bounce around between information on the unites states and other countries in the Labor rights section that makes it kind of confusing to follow. I think it might help to reformat that section by breaking down the different rights and giving examples by place or by discuss specifically the united states and at the end make comparisons to other countries. Either way would be fine but this section seems like a cluster of thoughts that bounce around too much to flow nicely. The Breast feeding section flows better but could benefit from reordering some information. Lastly you added the family rights section but didn't include any sources for the information you have. I assumed this was because that section is still in progress but it still could use some references to the statements made. Great topic though, I would have loved to choose this topic and find that maternity rights are a great topic to inform people on. Happyhelper775 (talk) 01:27, 7 April 2023 (UTC)

Hi! You chose a really important and relevant topic. I agree with the other peer reviewer that the information could be organized in a way that flows a little better. I think that some sentences could also use some improvements to their clarity, like the last sentence of the labor rights section. Maybe the second sentence of the breastfeeding section could be changed to "In addition to federal laws, There are specific laws in place in each state regarding breast feeding." In the family rights section, "mother's" should not have an apostrophe. Overall you have great content, just make sure to check for grammatical errors and improve the flow. Viviangaskin (talk) 17:00 9 April 2023 (UTC)

Hello Molly! I thought your article was well done. It was very informative and remained objective! A couple of things that I did notice was that in the first section, under "Labor Rights" you have a quote without an in-text citation. The other thing that I noticed, which is similar to what the reviewers above were saying, is that there is a sentence under "Parental Rights" where the syntax is a bit confusing. Here is the sentence: "A biological mother, fathers married to the mother before or after the child's birth, and as of 2003, fathers on their child's birth certificate are automatically given this legal right for their child." Other than that I thought you did a really wonderful job and I think that this topic should be talked about more between women, and we should be thinking critically about what our country can do for mothers. Great job!Prangerm (talk) 21:56, 9 April 2023 (UTC)