User talk:Cbs278/sandbox

Tone
I'd review the tone expected and the tutorials. You've written in more of an essay style than an encyclopedic style. Also ensure you know how to properly add citations to your sentences using the 'Cite' button provided. Reach out to your classmates covering the same section as you as they have written some of the same facts and you will all be uploading to one page so the facts should not be redundant. Daotis07 has a list of cider types. She can add your information her list and references to her list, that I suggested she make into a table, of the different types of cider. You can focus on editing your other paragraphs into an acceptable style. If you are unsure from the article above what tone is expected look at the Apple page, Maple Syrup and Pisco Sour. Phrases like 'to start with' or 'One popular cider style today' are appropriate for essays but not an encyclopedia.If you still have questions don't hesitate to contact me.Bryantlib (talk) 05:56, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Content
Comments from Kathy Oenotropae (talk) 22:15, 2 May 2018 (UTC): You must add citations after statements, not just put your sources at the end. Use some books that discuss cider styles (better than web pages). This is an awkward sentence: To start two most different styles of apple alcohol production are apple wines and apple brandies. Perhaps begin with, “For example two very…”. “apple alcohol production reads strangely, too.

Why add water to make an apple wine? It doesn't follow (more water = more alcohol?).

You need to be more precise in your writing we don’t distill apples, right? As for brandies, fermented apples ciders are taken and distilled in order to produce higher alcoholic products like apple brandy.

I am not sure the first paragraph is necessary (there is a section lower on the ciders page that discusses Calvados, etc., so it might fit better there. This section is for cider styles.

Try to organize better. Start with this section on cider styles: In the cider market, the ciders are also broken down into two main styles. The first group of ciders is “standard style” and the second group is “specialty styles.” The first group consists of what are called ‘modern ciders’, which are produced from culinary apples such as Gala and tend to have high acids and lower tannin. The next style is ‘heritage ciders’, which are produced from heritage, cider specific, crab or wild apples, like Golden Russet and tend to have high tannin content. Under these standard styles are also style guides for modern and heritage perries. But, reorganize this. It wasn’t clear to me that you meant ‘modern’ and ‘heritage’ are standard ciders until I looked at the next paragraph. Rearranging your section, maybe say “Standard styles include so-called ‘modern ciders’ and heritage ciders. Modern ciders are produced from….”

You need to include bottle-conditioning as a carbonation method. “sparkling ciders can be produced through methods of direct carbonation or by traditional Champenoise methods”

I thought this section would discuss the range from low tannin, slightly sweet ciders to tannic, dry ciders. Is this in another student’s paragraph?

Error in the bibliographic info?: United States of Association of Cider Makers:

Before making the paragraph 'live'
Remember to work with group members when uploading to the live page to ensure you dont upload the same information. Also consider how you will insert your information into the existing cider page. You may have to break up your sentences or not include everything depending on the information that is already on the page.

Proofread your paragraph before you make your information 'live'.

Before you post make sure one person in your group created a new section on the Cider apple talk page you are uploading to, letting the people watching the page know you are making edits. And also make sure you summarize your final change, when submitting to the live page. If you don't remember how to do these steps, re-watch the tutorial. :)Bryantlib (talk) 15:20, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Adding information to Cider page
You are inserting information on the Cider page, which is semi-protected, to add your paragraphs to the live page, you will need to have made at least 10 edits. You can do this in several ways. editing in your sandbox or a group member's sandbox, or/and going through and doing the steps in the tutorial all add edits to your username. Basically you change something and hit 'publish changes' it counts as an edit. The little box called 'Notices' on the top right of all the Wikipedia pages tells you when you have made 10 edits. Bryantlib (talk) 15:20, 7 May 2018 (UTC)