User talk:Cclac/Dance and health

(Peer review)This is a very interesting topic that I have researched before which is why I wanted to do this peer review. I can see that no lead was provided but the one in the existing article seems good enough to keep as is with no changes. There isn't much information provided in the sandbox yet; however, I can already see that the tone and balance of what is written is very neutral and informational with no personal opinions which is great. The content provided in the paragraph is definitely up to date (I've researched that same study before as well). It could be interesting; however if you mentioned the name of the study if it has one or at least who conducted the study. Maybe also explaining why grey-matter is so important to seniors or going a little more in depth about what it is could be interesting for people who do not have much knowledge on the subject. The source provided seems to be seem to be very informational and recent which makes it a great source. I can see you only have one source and I wrote an essay on this topic last year and had some sources that could possibly be of help to you (all academic and peer reviewed):

Bergand, C. (2013, October 01) Why is dancing so good for your brain? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/why-is-dancing-so-good-your-brain

Hokkanen, L., Rantala, L., Remes, A. M., Härkönen, B., Viramo, P., Winblad, I. (2008, March 31) Dance and movement therapeutic methods in management of dementia: A randomized controlled study. Retrieved from doi/full/10.1111/j.1532-5415.2008.01611.x?casa_token=OKsl2nUILCwAAAAA%3ANKiflaIFHL2l-x0efNerkeOfj6rnMD3zjdmsk2Ecr8Jc-0uPUOf3YNX2rI2jkhen_6c72-Jv0In_im0

I saw there was one quote directly from the source and remembered that Wikipedia may see this as plagiarism, so I would just be careful with that.

Overall, your paragraph is well written (with no grammatical or syntax errors) and I can tell that you will do a great job writing the rest of the article! Mbour181 (talk) 19:49, 5 March 2021 (UTC)

I think the audience in your source that you add is too narrow ,the page may should be not only focused on one specific audience group — Preceding unsigned comment added by YALUWANG330 (talk • contribs) 15:43, 23 March 2021 (UTC)