User talk:Cesar.ruiz/sandbox

Really great start, and you had a lot of detail, which was awesome. However, for the article on gentrification of San Francisco I think it would be helpful to first explain the gentrification of San Francisco within the context of gentrification as a whole, and describe this phenomenon as just one example of an ongoing trend that is happening in historic low-income neighborhoods all over the U.S., THEN go into talking about the gentrification of San Francisco specifically. Also, when I read the lead for the first article, I get a bit of a sense that the article is going to be very "anti-gentrification." You don't deliberately state your opinion, but in the lead section you talk about how gentrification is raising living costs and driving out low-income residents, which it is, but you also don't really discuss any of the benefits that come from gentrification, and there are actually quite a few! For example, you can mention that gentrification does create more jobs (in tech) and that it leads to creation of more updated, structurally sound, and earthquake-resistant structures, which is especially important in the bay area. Mention a few things like this and you will present a more balanced overview in my opinion.

I really like your other ideas about contributing more to the larger gentrification page, and your article on the anti-tech movement. I hope you are able to find more sources on this, there should definitely be some stuff out there if you just keep digging. :)

''Suggestions: ''

Gentrification of San Francisco

Content: The first line: "The gentrification of San Francisco has been an ongoing topic of contention between longtime residents of the city and the influx of new tech workers." should probably have an explanation as to why the topic of gentrification is one of contention. There should be an explanation as to why those are left the San Fransisco area were likely to be nonwhite and have lower education levels (ex: those are the types of people who initially lived there, small businesses were shut down, prices escalated, ect.). Furthermore, maybe change wording of nonwhite to discuss which racial backgrounds primarily were affected and give a percentage to each amount. I would also explain what is meant by the word "counterparts" in terms of who is moving into the city compared to who is moving out of it.

Organization: I like your section ideas for this article because that information is missing and is important. However, it may be easier to organize these sections in terms of time periods after the Dot-Com Boom or entitle it the "effects of gentrification" in terms of demographics and economics to make the sections flow better with each other.

Gentrification

It is a good idea to edit the San Francisco section of the page. I think it may be a good idea to identify other potential drivers of gentrification in San Francisco such as the need to find places to start other large corporate businesses that are not part of the tech boom to showcase all of the reasons for gentrification in San Francisco. I would also mention other major areas of San Francisco that have been affected other than the Mission District.

Anti-Tech Movement

If you are going to stick to talking about these cities, I would create sub-sections that talk about each city and its movement, linking the movement to the city. I would also give examples of "moments" in these movements that were significant, along with giving a brief background of what types of people tend to participate in these movements, and where the inspiration came from. It would also be a good idea to include dates to explain when this movement began and the way it has changed and shifted over time.

Good tone in all articles - neutral and informative. Remember that we need to have 30 sources for the final drafts, and to get as many pieces of writing that are not accessible to the general public as possible.

Jkaur95 (talk) 03:50, 30 October 2016 (UTC)