User talk:Cfau47/sandbox

The citations you used for all the facts is great for reference. The mechanisms page you have included is interesting. However, at first glance it was quite difficult to understand what was going on. In my opinion, I would include the symptoms again and not just say to refer to the above table. It is good to have more information I believe, even if it is repeated. Overall great work! -Atish Shah

The wiki page overall is very well done; all sections are very detailed. The graph for the mechanisms is a great touch! More recent research articles could be included if you are able to find them. Re-check the symptoms section for grammar and punctuation mistakes and you might be missing citations in the causes & prevention section. Other than that, it flows really well and adapts to the wiki style. Ppatel91 (talk) 18:07, 12 November 2017 (UTC)Priya Patel

The abstract is an overall good summary. I like your use of the table under the mechanism, it breaks everything down very well. The symptoms are easy to follow. For treatment and prognosis, which treatments are likely to be the first treatment option for an individual with this syndrome? Overall, good start! Eleni Kouimelis — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ekouimelis (talk • contribs) 18:22, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

You have a good start to the page. I would remove the abstract title and try and move it before the table the contents because the abstract usualyl starts before the bulk of the page. I know you have that big table in your mechnaism if you can shortent that and write out a step by step of how things are caused like how we do in class that would be better. I know this is jsut the draft, but also remember to elaborate more on the recent research. I see you have 2 artciles but elaborate more if you can. --- Neal Patel — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nealhp427 (talk • contribs) 20:25, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

Sweiner02 (talk) 18:03, 18 November 2017 (UTC)
 * Abstract should not have a heading. It will be at the top on its own.
 * You have a long list of classifications and causes in mechanism. These don't really seem to belong there (probably in the Cause or Diagnosis sections), and you haven't explained at all the actual mechanism. How does it happen?
 * The symptoms list needs some explanation and context.
 * Diagnosis: You are not talking to a patient. You are writing an encyclopedia article. Keep your context and wording appropriate.
 * Needs a lot more links to other pages.
 * Don't use abbreviations without explaining them beforehand, preferably within the section.
 * None of what you have cited in your recent research section is actually recent research. If you need help with that, come see me.