User talk:Cganski/sandbox

TA Comments:

In-text citations: none

Professional tone: yes

Paraphrasing real science: yes

Grammar and spelling: Be sure to format chemical formulas correctly. For instance, Mn4O5Ca should be Mn4O5Ca.

Links to other wiki articles: no

Score: 13/20

Peer Review:

In the "Catalytic metal centers in metalloproteins" section, the sentence was straight to the point and grammatically correct. However, it seems that the sentence is a little wordy (too long) so it may help her to break up the sentence into two. It will be easier to follow that way. Additionally, she could tag already existing Wikipedia pages on this section such as "Hemeproteins", "photosystems", "metalloprotein".

In the "Process of photosynthesis" section, there is a spelling error in the first sentence such as "Xray" and punctuation error where there is supposed to be a period after "By coupling the ENDOR techniques his lab pioneered combined with high resolution XRay structures and high sensitivity magnetic resonance techniques". After which, the first letter of the sentence after has to be capitalized. Mn4O5Ca could be formatted in a way that the numbers could be subscripts/superscripts. The sentence "Particularly on the action of a Mn4O5Ca complex involved in the water splitting process, being able to determine the interactions of each substrate and all of the transition states within that part of the photosynthetic process" is a fragment and should be edited or reworded. The compound CO2 should also be formatted correctly. I believe the sentence " In pursuing this research, he developed crystallization and purification methods in order to produce the single crystals containing the metal centers described above that would allow extremely precise measurements to be taken using spectroscopy and crystallography, shedding light on the precise location of the atomic components of the hydrogenases." could be broken down into two simple yet strong sentences. Kindly define what ENDOR technique is except if your group already defined this in a previous paragraph. "hydrogenases" and "hydrocarbons" could be linked to their own Wikipedia pages. Overall, I believe after doing my suggested changes, the article is great. I was able to understand what this section is about.

The section "Electron Paramagnetic Resonance" was well written. For the second sentence, it started with "current research" but a suggestion would be "Lubitz current research". "Electron Paramagnetic Resonance" could be linked to its Wikipedia page.

For the last section, it looks great but I have one suggestion if it is possible. If it's not, I think it wouldn't hurt. For the list of his publications, are the bullets the titles of his papers? or are the bullets like a category / main topics of his papers? If it's the first, it may help if it is formatted like with the author and publications and stuff like how you will cite a reference page? If it's the latter, it would help if you mention "Main topics of his publications". I Acknowledge the fact that the list is listed in chronological order because it is easier to follow a list that way.

Overall, this article is lacking in one aspect, in-text citations. Please include this upon revising the article. The article was written in a professional manner by stating facts rather than the writer's opinion. Also, the article was paraphrased rather than directly quoting from the articles.

If you have any questions maybe I was vague with my comments, please do not hesitate on contacting me. We're here to help each other out. Veviillescas (talk) 20:41, 18 November 2016 (UTC)

ILLESCAS, VINCENT EMIL Peer Review Score: 22/20 Very thorough!