User talk:Chadowelf/sandbox

Selecting Possible Articles

Area:

Ayacucho. (2018, January 24). Retrieved January 30, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayacucho

Huancayo. (2018, January 24). Retrieved January 30, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huancayo

Sector:

Special education. (2018, January 26). Retrieved January 30, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_education

Culture of poverty. (2018, January 23). Retrieved January 30, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_poverty

Daisy Martin's Peer Review
Hello Vi,

First, I would like to say that I really enjoyed reading your sections in your sandbox. I believe you have a good handle on what an encyclopedic voice is and everything is cited with reliable sources. I like your use of UNICEF and government articles; however, I want to encourage you to cite as many peer reviewed articles as possible since as Berkeley students with access to these journals, we can really add to the quality of information on Wikipedia.

In the first sentence that you added to your "Education in Peru" article, I wanted to suggest adding to the first sentence and saying, "Accessibility and student performance in primary school has been historically low.." just to clarify that this information is specifically about primary school and not school in Peru as a whole. The first paragraph and the two you added are very strong and full of valuable information. In your contributions to the Secondary School section, perhaps it would be valuable to include a discussion on why we are seeing these trends if you can find sources that support the claims.

In your drafted contributions to the "Special Needs" page, I think including Colombia is great; however, I would like to know what was going on historically that caused more action to be taken to educate children with disabilities rather than simply seeing dates with no sociohistorical context. I also really like your section titled "Global Issues" think it would be a great addition to the end of the section in your article. Daisymartin (talk) 01:03, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

Yusuf's Peer Review
Hi!

I totally agree with the advice that Daisy gave, I thought of the same things so I won't repeat it. I agree that those are some changes you may want to consider doing. There are a few points, such as the statistics that you included, that needs citing. Other than that, I really liked your approach, and your writing style seems to be following the format that is advised by Wiki. There was one sentence that needed rewording, so rewrote it for you just as an idea.

"This trend is especially prevalent in children whose native language in Quechua or an Amazonian language, as well as in children who are extremely poor."

Good job so far and good luck with the rest of your work! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nayib24 (talk • contribs) 02:40, 20 March 2018 (UTC)