User talk:Chari.Lottie/sandbox

Peer Review:

Peer Review: Hello, What a huge amount of information that you gathered for the Oregon City School District article. The original page barley had anything on it which was surprising. I really liked that you added the history of the district to it too. I thought all the information that you had was cited very well too. The only change that I would possibly add would be citing the information for the info box that appears at the top of the page where you list the district info/ students and staff. Other than that you did an amazing job!! What a massive improvement. MeghaneyAnderson (talk) 21:55, 27 July 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review:

I though that you did a great job with the amount of information that you have found and added about the Oregon City School District. The sources you used were credible and they were cited well in each section of your writing. I also liked the way that your article was formatted and there was clear organization in the article. One thing to consider is adding images of what the new schools looked like (if there are any available). It could make the article more interactive and give some visuals to what you are writing about. Overall though I think you've added a lot of relevant and important info to the Oregon City School District wiki page that is severely lacking content. --Wyattjenkerson (talk) 22:12, 27 July 2019 (UTC)

Choose a topic feedback
You have a nice range of mostly-local articles here, which can be great ones to reach for! I'm adding a few notes about each below:

Oregon City school district: This is one you seem to have the most ideas for how to improve, which is promising. All of your suggested additions are good ones, and you might add a broader history section as well (you note them no longer acting as a public school district, which isn't something I've heard before, but you might also include the beginnings and growth of the district as well as the changes in holdings).

Bank of Commerce building: If you are able to locate information about the original planning, funding, construction, ownership, etc. of the building, that history could be a valuable addition to this article. If it's on any kind of historical registry, that would also be good information to include.

Boyd's coffee: I'm surprised this one is so sparse! Again, history, its pattern of expansion and then shrinking some/sale of the company, as well as financial information like peak profits or significant losses if you are able to locate that could all be good additions.

Carnegie library and Masonic lodge are both similar notes to the bank of commerce building, and I agree that the local historical society is a great starting point for research for all of these.

My one additional note for all five of these articles is that one of the biggest indicators for whether an article is going to be relatively easy or rather difficult to do real work on is how many sources and what variety of sources you're able to find. In what you've written here, I don't see any indication of you having done an initial search for sources on these topics. To help you narrow down to just one of them, I would strongly recommend getting a sense for how easy/difficult finding a range of sources will be for each of them. If you still have multiple good options at that point, any of these that you are most excited to research and learn more about is an excellent option. Nicoleccc (talk) 21:08, 14 July 2019 (UTC)

Article draft feedback
You've found so much new information to add to this article! The history is particularly robust and interesting. In the existing article, would this history section fit after the current district information so the most relevant current information is near the top of the entry? Or would you want to move chronologically and end with the current information? My inclination is to keep the current material at the top for ease of use, but I can see strong reasoning for both of these structures.

A few formatting and citation notes:
 * The infobox material at the top of your draft doesn't seem to have formatted quite right to make an actual infobox. You will want to tweak this (and/or ask Shalor through our "get help" button) as you're finalizing your draft
 * The district's official website and social media links would be a better fit in an "External Links" section at the bottom of the article (just below the references)--this is not information generally included in infoboxes
 * Citations need to happen every time material from a source is used, and appear at the end of that usage rather than the beginning. If, for example, all of your information for the paragraph about the 1800s is from a single source, that citation would happen at least at the end of the paragraph, and possibly other times in the middle of the paragraph as well (usually at the ends of sentences).
 * In trying to compare your draft material to the original, I found that clicking on the citation (the number 3) sends me into a loop that does not include information about the actual source. If this is an online source, the linking may need to be done differently. If it is an offline source, the citation information will need to be added in the reflist.

For the history components, there is a lot of information delivered quickly, and it's not clear where in the current delivery of that information where the actual start of the Oregon City School District is. It might be worth starting the history section with that clear and directly relevant information, and then giving any key bits of what led up to the district forming in a phrase or a sentence after that clear starting point. Alternatively, you might consider rethinking your sections around "Oregon City schools pre-district", "Formation of Oregon City School District", "Growth of Oregon City School District", or something like that, rather than the date markers.

I think my final note is about small phrasing/proofreading bits. One example is: "The first-ever high school building was constructed...". This phrasing is unclear because "first-ever" could be in the district, state, country, etc. Some slightly more careful language can clear this up pretty easily. Another example is: "In 1854 the local the territorial legislator passed an act to create a school district in Oregon City, the action gave the city council the power to act as a school board and by May of 1855 Moss’ offer was accepted by the city council and a primary school was established." This sentence is a comma splice (a kind of run-on) and has some small phrasing bumps ("the local the territorial"). A careful read-through, probably out loud, will likely help you catch edits like these throughout the draft.

Please let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to reading your polished article additions! Nicoleccc (talk) 18:24, 26 July 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
I think your overall work is very impressive! You were able to find so much interesting information for Oregon City School Districts history. I find it intriguing because I have grown up in Oregon City School District and have family weaved all through the district. The plans for the future of the district is extremely helpful information. I think you could add maybe a little bit about the educators in the district? Like how long they typically stay employed in the district, salary rates, their education requirements. ALSO! I learned from going to Oregon City High School that they have higher credit requirements to be able to graduate than a lot of other High Schools in Oregon. That might be something interesting to look into? Great job! Kirstiehenry123 (talk) 23:06, 27 July 2019 (UTC)kirstiehenry123

Peer review
Your article is looking great so far! Your content is relevant to your topic and you don't stray away from what you're stating. I also see no biases and it is kept strictly to facts about the school district. I also appreciate that all your citations are clear and you have credible resources for your article. One thing that I think could use some improvement on is the amount of information given. Is there any other facts you can find about the school district and add to your article? I would love to know more. Overall your article is looking good!