User talk:Charles Wills/YouTube Kids

i will be adding these citations to my writing soon.

BIBLEOGRAPHY

You tube kids adds profile management to allow a browsing history as to keep a steady flow of appropriate content flowing

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/news/2017/11/02/youtube-kids-gets-new-look-adds-profiles/824646001/

Youtube kids has become available on apple tv as well as other smart tv's and cable providers. this helps eliminate children surfing on the open web in unsafe enviorments.

https://telanganatoday.com/youtube-kids-app-now-available-on-apple-tv

Youtube kids app creation

https://www.wired.com/2015/02/youtube-kids/

Human content filtering

https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/25/17281654/youtube-kids-parental-controls-approved-content

common sense media reviews https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/youtube-kids/user-reviews/adult

Sam's peer review for Charles
Charles you did many good things when writing your article. First thing being you took a neutral stance on the topic. You aren't bias towards or against YouTube kids and give multiple perspectives in support and against the issues. This is a very important aspect and you keep that up. Also for a first draft your article is clear and I can understand all your points. The added background information on why Youtube kids was created helps strengthen your article. I only suggest that maybe try to have the first few sentences giving background information that go into the different safety improvements. For example when you wrote "The company has worked diligently to add features to improve the safety of the environment for children. In 2015, the company developers created the Youtube kids app for multiple platforms." Possibly add that date it was created before the sentence about "The company has worked diligently". I only suggest this because it kind of changes topics then it goes back to talk about the safety measures in place. This will also allow you to have a more focused "lead" in the article. Kind of like a thesis the lead should give a basic idea of what the article is going to be about. Since you seem to be focusing on the safety measures and issues about YouTube kids make sure these topics are in your lead.

The information you have in this article is very good but I think it could be rearranged a little. For example your first paragraph talks about the background of the app and some of the new safety measures. Your next paragraph continues about safety measures and also adds insight from users. Possibly when you gain more information you could add more background into the first paragraph and then have one paragraph dedicated to the safety measures. You also state that YouTube kids has received a lot of bad reviews from parents. You do state some of the issues they have with it but I think if you added a few more reasons why it gets bad reviews it will strengthen that point. Since your last paragraph included a lot of issues people have had with the app you could maybe add what people like about the app.

I know these are rough drafts and I am sure you know but be sure to add your references in the article it self. I know you plan to add these cause I saw your talk page but just wanted to leave a reminder. Also in one of your references from common sense media seems like the reviews may be slightly bias. I am only saying this because when I clicked the reviews on the first page there were two people who wrote reviews stating how they hate how their parents make them use this. I know kids have opinions too but no kid likes when their parents adds extra safety measures and is clearly going to skew the results.

Some words you used that makes claims on behalf of unnamed groups are: "Many Parents" and "Many Reviewers" Try and back these up a little more.

If you have any questions about my review feel free to reply.

Thanks

-Sam

Allen's peer review on Charles
I think you have a lot of good work so far Charles. I believe all your citations to be very strong and credible sources of information. Your article is easy to understand even for those who may not even know what YouTube Kids is. You thoroughly explained how YouTube Kids may filter out any negative videos and protect kids from harmful ideas. You were not biased in any of the information given, didn't seem to pull towards any side or to push your own agenda. Good information on the addition of the app to android and apple devices, I had no idea that there was an app available. I also did not know that YouTube added a human filtration system with their employees. I did noticed some grammatical errors. For example, "This came as a bit of relief to parents as it felt like a surefire safe environment to give their kids while on the go, Initially, the app was the primary means of accessing the kids version of Youtube.". I personally feel as if this would be better off as two different statements and that you should add a period after "kids on the go". I think your article could use some statistics. How much safer has the internet or youtube become for kids since the addition of the YouTube Kids app? Overall, very good work here. I look forward to seeing your final product. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Allen Parker13 (talk • contribs) 00:02, 4 July 2020 (UTC)

Alex's peer review of Charles
Charles, You've picked a good topic that is very relevant in today's world. Your article has many good points, however I think you could have split it into a couple more paragraphs. You bring up multiple points in each paragraph that could warrant one of their own. I also think you could have a little bit more info about YouTube Kids' history in the beginning of the article, so it is a little less confusing. Though I am not sure how the rest of this Wikipedia page is structured so you may be fine. If there is more info in another section of the page, then you are good.

Your article also has a few minor grammar issues so make sure you proofread before publishing. Other than that, you have a very strong article. Good luck with your work. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aljoriz14ssoass (talk • contribs) 20:20, 18 July 2020 (UTC)