User talk:Chronley/sandbox

Jennie Monfried’s Review of Freeze-Drying

1.	'''Overall, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you?''' Overall, article does a great job with expanding on freeze-drying, writing so Wiki readers can understand, and organization. I was impressed by the additions of equipment used! Also, liked the advantage/disadvantage addition.

2.	'''What changes would you suggest the authors apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?''' Changes I suggest are expanding the intro/summary. This is vital! Certain sentences could be structured differently (I noted some below). Also, make sure each sentence has a source.

3.	What's the most important thing the authors could do to improve the article? The most important thing that the authors could do to improve the article is expanding on the intro/summary. ALSO… addressing this key point… “After freeze-drying, the texture of the food product is still preserved, along with retention of the food’s shape and volume” The texture changes so not sure what is meant by sentence quoted above… Expand on texture, vitamins, and microorganisms.

Introductory sentence: Good, topic of article stated, although not concise/ direct

-Maybe instead of material you could say food source?

-Instead of “or make” I think it should say “and makes the material more convenient for transport. Also, explain why it makes the material more convenient for transport… I saw you later mentioned with lightweight per volume for hikers and military. But add maybe a bit more to this or address in the intro.

Summary: Good, summaries most major points, but misses one ore more important aspects

-Summary could be a bit longer, include a brief summary on how the food changes (texture, appearance) and a brief summary on equipment used. Bit more background needed

Context: Good, includes some information -Need to expand to include more of what is in the article in the summary!!! (as stated above in summary section) -Talk about processing time/ cost -Expand a bit on temperatures required

Organization: Excellent, clear organization. I like how the lay out was easy to follow. One change you could make is moving equipment above advantages/disadvantages.

Content: Excellent, covers info relevant to assigned topic

Balance: Excellent, Article presents balanced coverage

Tone: Good, Tone is neutral and appropriate. Certain sentences could be improved such as → Freeze dryers, “These are the one of the more basic style of freeze dryers and are very simple to setup and place samples into.” should be stated simplier”

Citations: Good, Some sentences are missing citations

Sources: Excellent, included textbooks as well. Not sure if 5 sources is enough? Make sure every sentence has a source. 2 sources were from early 2000s

Completeness: Excellent, most references include completely filled out citation template or are otherwise complete

New Sections: Excellent, especially as seen in the equipment section  Re-organization: Excellent, article covers the topic in organized, logical fashion

Gaps: Good, most gaps are filled. As stated before, add more to intro/summary beginning section  Smaller Additions: Good, additions added to relevant section of the article. Expand on effects on microbes, textures, vitamins Coverage: Excellent, comprehensive coverage of the topic

Article body: Excellent, body is divided into relevant, logical sections that follow guidleins for topic

AJ Silva Peer Review of Freeze Drying

'''1. Lead '''

a. Introductory Sentence: Excellent- addresses the overall process and the main purpose of the technique in the food industry.

b. Summary: Excellent: All major points related to the topic are illustrated in the table of contents section

c. Context: Excellent- everything that is analyzed in the article is identified in the contents table

2.Article

a. Organization/Content: Good

Under advantages/disadvantages: talk about things manufacture should consider of equipment, including processing time.

Second sentence of food and agriculture based industry section, you should reword the high value products sentence. It does not flow very well. Also, in that first paragraph, you should expand on the culture and enzyme portion, as stating applications related to food is important.

In the third paragraph, expand on temperatures required for rapid freezing and how sublimation is analyzed.

Culinary herbs paragraph: I think this paragraph can be useful, yet it needs to be cleaned up and maybe added with the previous paragraph.

The advantages/disadvantages should be placed before equipment and should be a summary before that section. Overall, you have addressed the key areas related to freeze drying.

“These are the one of the more basic style of freeze dryers and are very simple to setup and place samples into. “ Rewrite this sentence for clarity→ Contact Freeze dryers are a basic type of freeze dryer that allows for simplified sample analysis.

In the Microwave assisted Freeze dryers section, the microwave strength appropriate for freeze drying was not addressed. Explain more about the process and the scale of food production used with this equipment. Also, explain how this could be different for certain food types that have high water activity or solids content. As well, clean up the sentence that starts with rate sublimation. It would be better to say “ The rate of sublimation in a product can affect the microwaves impedance, in which power of the microwave must be changed accordingly.”

b. Balance-Excellent

Overall, this groups did a good job of explaining specific types of freeze dryers in a fair, unbiased fashion that allows individuals that read this article to learn more about the various aspects of freeze drying.

c. Tone- Good

Certain word choices were poor and specific sentences, especially when explaining certain processes within the equipment section, are lengthy and can be be better structured.

For example, these sentences states “To begin with, the chamber is manufactured with stainless steel and contains shelves for holding the product. Internally, it has insulation and is highly polished. ”. It can be changed to “Manufacturing of the insulated based chambers are welded with stainless steel and consist of multiple shelves for storage.”

Under contact Freeze dryers, “These are the one of the more basic style of freeze dryers and are very simple to setup and place samples into.” should be stated simplier. For example, “ Contact freeze dryers are categorized as a more basic freeze dryer technique for sample anaylsis.”

d. Citations: Excellent

Citations needed under the Introduction, silicon oil leakage problem and rotary dryers sections. Should look at peer reviewed articles to cite this information.

e. Sources: Excellent

2 sources were from the early 2000’s→ should look for more recent articles that can support this topic.

Overall, sources are accurate and represent the scope of freeze drying

Completeness: Excellent

All the citations were complete, yet the citations were not in alphabetical order. Existing Article review:

a. New Sections

The sections included by the group include advantages and disadvantages along with additions to the equipment sections. I was a bit confused where the sections they added in the sandbox are going into the wikipedia article. As well, I believe the additionf a standards and regulation section could be useful in this article.

b. Re-organization-Good This group did a good job of including more information on types of freeze dryers, creating better transitions between certain sections, and focusing its effort on adding citations to certain areas of the article. I believe more could be added to the intro of this article, along with a better understanding of where certain sections are being placed within the current article on wikipedia.

c. Gaps-good

Most gaps were filled, including disadvantages and advantages of freeze drying, other types of freeze drying equipment and techniques, and allowing for better transitions into certain sections including the equipment section.

d. Smaller additions-Excellent

Additions were added to sections of the article that allowed for a better flow and understanding of the topic. Addition of the effects of freeze drying on microorganisms, vitamins, and texture should be expanded further. As well, the image of equipment in the textbook could be a nice addition to the article.

Additional Questions

a. Overall, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you?

Overall, this article does a good job of creating a more thorough analysis of freeze drying techniques, along with explaining the advantages and disadvantages of freeze drying. As well, this groups did a good job of using resources, including the class textbook, to explain certain sections of the article including equipment and function of freeze dryers. I was impressed with how the group expanded and connected pre existing sections for a better flow and understanding of the topic.

b. What changes would you suggest the authors apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

I have outlined specific changes above for specific sentences and sections, but I felt like the biggest issue was this draft did not include how these sections were incorporated in the pre existing article. As well, certain sections should be added to this article, including microorganism, texture, and nutrient effects from freeze drying in detail. As well, more pictures or tables of temperatures and time should be included for freeze drying applications on certain foods.

c. What's the most important thing the authors could do to improve the article?

The authors should really look to add this drafts sections into the actual article and allow for a better flow of the article. As well, the authors should address changes described above for complete and thorough analysis of freeze drying in the food industry.

Swimmaaj (talk) 22:31, 28 April 2018 (UTC)AJ silva

= Freeze drying review by Joele A. == Good definition of freeze drying. The word "preserve" is misspelled in the second line.Suggestions: - Perhaps adding a source for the definition would be helpful. - Add some context to the introduction or change the heading to definition since this section only contains a definition.

Good description of the primary application of freeze drying and providing examples of semi-processed and highly processed foods. It might be great to move the first paragraph of "Food and Agriculture-Based Industry" to the introduction, because, the current section titled "intro" only contains the definition of freeze drying. Processing is mentioned in this paragraph but not clearly defined. It might be helpful to list examples of "semi-processed fruits, or high processed fruits.

The second paragraph "Although freeze-drying is used to preserve food, its earliest use in agriculturally based industries" begins with some historic information, so, it might be helpful to add a subtitle for this section, or modify the main heading to match the main title. (I understand this section is directly from wiki page since it is italicized, but I just thought to point this out, so you have it)

The next sentence "Because is commonly used in crop and food processing..." does not relate to history and should be moved to the first paragraph, since this sentence touches on the main objective of freeze drying. In addition, the reference 13 is not correctly used for this sentence, since this journal is about lipid oxidation in peanut. It might have been helpful to list how product quality of freeze dried fruits does not change, while listing key findings from reference 13 as an example. (I understand this section is directly from wiki page since it is italicized, but I just thought to point this out, so you have it)

The sentence "Therefore, freeze-dried crops and foods are closest to the natural composition..." needs a reference, and so does the next sentence. (I understand this section is directly from wiki page since it is italicized, but I just thought to point this out, so you have it).

Great outline of the stages involved in Freeze drying in the paragraph "The freeze-drying process for solid food products requires 3 steps...until sublimation occurs". It might be great to give a sub title to this section. Your outline indicates you plan to do so. Please also summarize details of each step you outlined.

Great description of freeze drying liquid in the next paragraph "When freeze-drying liquid products there is a slight difference in the process" please indicate what this process of freeze drying a liquid is different from. Are you referring to difference from solid, or a paste? Does this difference apply to viscous liquids as well? Maybe, describe the three stages of freeze-drying with a solid food as an example, then link it to this paragraph of freeze drying liquid. Please add citation to this paragraph.

The next three italicized paragraphs, sound like this is general information. Perhaps this information could be used to complement the introduction section. An alternative would be to use this information in the application section.

Great job presenting the advantages and disadvantages of freeze drying. The tone and within the text is great, and transition is also smooth Maybe include examples of some of the "processing and preservation" for better comparison, so that the reader has an idea of what he/she is comparing freeze drying to. Great job on citation!

Excellent description of the freeze dryer components and process. Perhaps modify the title to be process and equipment description. The three stages of freeze drying was outlined in the third paragraph of the "Food and Agriculture-Based Industry" section. So it might be helpful to group them together.

Great description of different types of freeze dryers, and use of citations. Perhaps you could introduce different types of freeze dryers by listing them in a sentence after this last sentence "The freeze-dryer can run for a few hours or days depending on the product" in which freeze drying was described.

The "Silicon oil leakage" could be listed in in the disadvantage section. A suggested topic for the types of freeze dryers " Contact, Radiant, and Microwave-assisted Freeze Dryers, principles, benefits and limitations"

Overall,reliable and verifiable sources were used to complement the information on wiki, which is great. The added sections of this article (non-italicized) were smooth to read, clear, and tone was neutral throughout the article. Transition within the paragraphs were also smooth of non-italicized were great. This article was very rich and informative except for the few sections which need to be grouped and organized a little for the reader to have a more clear picture.

Great job!T. Joele (talk) 20:48, 3 May 2018 (UTC)

The sentence "Therefore, freeze-dried crops and foods are closest to the natural composition..." needs a reference, and so does the next sentence. — Preceding unsigned comment added by T. Joele (talk • contribs) 04:48, 30 April 2018 (UTC)

A. Prakash review
Introduction The lead sentence while accurate, is not sufficient to distinguish the value/benefits of freeze drying from other dehydration technologies. The introduction is too brief, it needs to summarize the article.

Food and Agriculture-Based Industry Recommend editing the title to "Freeze drying of food." It is not clear what the distinction is between food and agricultural products. Is the latter term referring to raw food? Or non-food agricultural products? Please clarify and modify to fresh and processed food if necessary. This entire section needs to be edited to be re-organized. I suggest sub-sections for each major use-coffee, flavors, fruits and vegetables, ice cream, seasoning mixes, NASA and military foods. Another section for Technology (specific for food). Agree with removing the paragraph detailing section on spinach and watercress, but maybe look into freeze-dried tofu.

First paragraph: Not sure freeze drying retains texture. In fact you lose aroma compounds, and the texture changes drastically after freeze drying. It is usually used to create crisp textures for snack type products including fruits and vegetables. Or helps retain flavor and aroma for products such as freeze dried flavors and coffee. Not sure this sentence is adding much information, I would reword or delete, "High-value products can be viewed based on the amount of processing, semi-processed (e.g. roasted coffee beans) or highly processed (e.g. cheese), or if they are high-value unprocessed products (e.g. fresh fruits)." Second paragraph: Is this sentence true? "Although freeze-drying is used to preserve food, its earliest use in agriculturally based industries was in processing of crops such as peanuts/groundnuts and tobacco in the early 1970s." If so, please cite and explain the reason. Also, that paragraph uses "food and crops." Not sure why this language was used, but please edit to clarify or remove the word crops.

Advantages Use subsections such as Texture and flavor, Shelf life, Effect on Nutrients, etc. Delete the first sentence. Clarify what you mean by quality and high value. Also, modify the references to texture. Freeze drying changes the texture significantly as compared to the fresh product. The reason to freeze dry (for textural reasons)is to maintain the shape, lack of shrinking and to produce a crispy texture. There are also other advantages of freeze drying over other dehydration methods- lack of high temperatures, ease of rehydration (please refer to original article-Properties of freeze dried products). Please modify this sentence, "Shelf-life extension occurs through the immobilization of liquid water prevents microbiological reactions and microbial growth since a non-ideal environment is created." Too vague. Maybe write very simply to say something to the effect of - there is not enough moisture in the freeze dried product for microorganisms to grow. Can you clarify this sentence, "vitamin C has a loss rate between 8%-30% and vitamin A has a loss rate between 0% - 24% in green vegetables?" Loss rate in what? Same with the next sentence on aroma compounds- in what matrix? Is color really used as an indication of adequate drying?

Disadvantages The point about microbial growth in the second statement is good. But the rest of the disadvantages are general for all dehydrated products.

Equipment How does this integrate into the existing article? Overall the equipment section seems to have more detail than the food application section. Would suggest the emphasis be on the food, by condensing this section a bit, and by adding more information in the food application section.

This section uses very few references, please add additional references. Please incorporate into the full article to see the flow of information.

Tilly2008 (talk) 22:56, 5 May 2018 (UTC)

Feedback
Nice work on your draft. Some things that still need improvement:
 * References should appear immediately after the statements they support. There should be a minimum of one reference per paragraph, and there shouldn’t be any text after the last reference in a paragraph. Several of your sections are entirely unreferenced.
 * Section headers use sentence capitalization, not title capitalization; only the first word of the title, and proper nouns, should be capitalized.
 * Only the article title should be bolded, and italics should only be used for things like species names and book titles, not for emphasis.
 * References go after punctuation, not before, and there shouldn't be spaces in front of the reference.
 * The lead section should summarize all the major points of the article. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:21, 15 May 2018 (UTC)