User talk:Citlalynunez/sandbox

Peer review: Carmen Argote

Hi Citlaly,

After reading the first draft of your page, I think you did great in terms of keeping the article neutral and avoiding any biases. I think you presented information that you acquired from your sources without any additional input on your personal opinion which is what Wikipedia pages are supposed to do. I would suggest writing a lead at the beginning of your article rather than simply starting with your artist’s birthday so that the reader knows from the beginning who it is that they are reading about. In other words, state that she is a Mexican artist who uses architecture in her art to share her personal stories of things such as immigration that many of her audience members can likely relate to. Additionally, I would also suggest being more specific with detail. For example, when you mentioned that she went to a prestigious art school in New York, you might want to mention what school that was specifically. You should also check for run on sentences as they did make your points a bit confusing for the reader to follow with at times. However, I really enjoyed how you explained her famous, currently ongoing artwork based upon her father going back to Mexico. One last thing that I would suggest which I feel that my article could also do better is to take the order of our articles in consideration. Whether it be chronological or another order that makes more sense, we can separate our articles into various sections using headers so that our entire piece makes more sense and is generally easier to follow for our readers. For example, you could separate the first portion where you talk about her schooling and call it something like ‘early life and education’ and then also maybe separate the section about her artwork into another subsection and name it “if only it were that easy” (2018). Liz betht (talk) 16:53, 20 February 2019 (UTC)Lizbeth Trujillo