User talk:Clairejking/sandbox

There is a lot of interesting facts about Ohio's prison system here. That being said, the contribution reads more like a list of facts than an article. Maybe you could find a way to connect the information in a more cohesive format. The information about nurses and overtime seems related to funding, perhaps both facts could be brought under the same umbrella with additional information that you add.

You briefly mention racial disparities, but don't really elaborate. Maybe you could add the actual numbers that reflect the disparity between prison and general population of minorities.

NeWiley (talk) 01:53, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

I like the topic a lot. You might look at the Sentencing Project website. https://www.sentencingproject.org/ You could probably contact them for more information about Ohio. One factor missing from this article is the number of jobs tied to criminal justice and where those jobs are located. Criminal justice is a massive job and stimulus machine for rural areas in the state. You'll want to address that in this piece.Cassell04 (talk) 17:20, 14 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
I like the topic. As wikipedia format goes, the draft does not look like an article. It looks more like a bullet point list. Instead of listing numbers under each section you could write it as sentences that flow together cohesively. For example, when talking about socioeconomic status, bullets 1 & 2 are related to each other and those should just be two sentences rather than two bullet points. Also, you could talk about how much racial disparities play into people jailed. You stated there is more crime in areas that are diverse, so is that the reason there are so many African Americans and Latinos in prison compared to Caucasians? You could try to reflect more on this. Amanda Jarus (talk) 18:24, 16 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review for Class
I enjoyed reading your article! I thought it was very informative. I think it could be nice to add some summarizing sentences with the list format in order to make the ideas flow better rather than being split up by a numbered list, although I do appreciate how organized the list is and how easy it is to see what you are talking about and where it is categorized. I thumbed through the references and they all appear to be reputable and the article is definitely unbiased so I have no critiques. Overall I think the draft is great if I had to add something it would simply be a formatting opinion. BrookeStrausbaugh (talk) 18:26, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
I liked this topic a lot and I think you added a lot of good information. The list format makes it very easy to read which is great, but summarizing it into paragraphs will work better for the actual wikipedia article. Talking about why their is more crimes in more diverse areas would also be interesting. The whole piece remains unbiased throughout and overall seems great! Gbutkovi (talk) 03:32, 21 October 2018 (UTC)