User talk:Cliffwms44

My name is cliffwms44 I am HIV positive as of 2/25/09 I have lossed my wife gwendolyn jones-williams to HIV and Hiv-related illness cancer. I am writing this post because of the empty void that causes me to think of her life, of missing her. I understand how when we as loved ones want to sustain life for another we are powerless, I feel that she does not have to suffer any longer with the pain she fought with for the past couple of years in her efforts to live. I understand if no one else understands, that pain like it was my own. My outlook on this chapter in my life is still being composed but the onething is that in the physical I will continue my life alone for now. I hurt at times and withdraw at times and want so much to recover from the loss very quickly. I feel that in gwens condition for me to want to keep her in this life and indure such pain daily is selfish out of love and faith in GOD on my final visit with her I put her in GODS hands and it is where she is better. A big reason of why I am posting this is because of other people who don't think they should allow you as a person to put things into perpective within my life and our lives as partners, They think they have the answer to your grief and they time you on how and how long you should take with this. I can think of some happy times that her and I had and some bad times but the conditions of love are to no limit. The power of love our life existence rest apon our power to love one another there are a few types of love romantic, riciprocal but, agape love is the root of all love purely spontaneous, groundless and creative. "IT IS THE LOVE OF GOD OPORATING IN THE HUMAN HEART". always and forever she will be in my heart my wife gwen.

Dislosure of HIV+ status.
My name is cliffwms44 I have been HIV+ for now nine years or more I know that disclosure is a hard hurdle for many people who are infected because of stigma people have about people with the virus. It took me some time too just accept my positive status because it hit me as if I had to progress through some stages and most of all what really helped is people just like me, other infected individuals steered me to an AIDS education class and being around people who were going through the same battle was a strength and a means to build a support network. So now I have progressed to become this AIDS activist for education, treatment,housing and medication for every nation. I have fought to regain my overall well-being>Mental>Physical>Spiritual>Relationship and>Environment. From here is where I must begin to raise my quality of life for self and others. The more I talk to people about HIV/AIDS the less power stigma and myths have on me and others. So now my thinking has changed to that their is no cure and there is no one person that can cure me, why sweat it, about a persons fears because they lack information.