User talk:Clinttrigg

Dr James MacGrath Phd sums and addin up- Horsham
James MacGrath is a secret undercover agent posing as an IT professional from Horsham UK. Specially trained in interrogation avoidance techniques he is able to divert any question pointed at him by Me'Julie. He lives an unassuming life in a virtually empty flat with only a toaster for company. He spends his evenings hiding behind curtains avoiding the tv detector van and making his scale models of tourist attractions of the world made only with spent matches and a special glue formulated from T2 chip gravy and the spittle from unfortunate squirrels that inhabit his garden.

He is also known (along with his annoying colleague Paul Slack) for being unduly pedantic about sloppy grammar.

James is well known for his love of SPA breaks, especially extended ones in Sheffield. James is also a foodie enthusiast; with his experiences ranging from steak night at Weatherspoons to taster menus at the Fat Duck which involved drinking large enough quantities of fine wine that left the food largely forgettable.

James' greatest achievement came when finally succumbing to the mythical 4th pint one lunch time in Warwickshire, it must be stated that this type of behavior, whilst legendry, should not be tried at home by the faint of heart. This achievement was however soon bettered by a person who shall go unnamed who managed to skillfully dispatch 5 pints over the same period. This has lead to James being known on many occasions to order the 'weakest beer' whilst ordering neat vodka for his unassuming drinking buddies. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 165.225.80.96 (talk) 14:08, 21 December 2016 (UTC)

Sue Harris - IT professional
In this world of technology and scientific advance, it is unusual to find a person that has the technical capabilities of a sub normal hamster. The most prominent recent case is an IT professional called Sue Harris. She is one (but not the only) exception to the general principle that immersing yourself in technology has a similar effect to osmosis in absorbing a knowledge base.

After years of scientific study and research it has been established that the root cause of this childlike approach to all things "clever" can be attributed to many years of thinking about puppies tummies, kittens ears and gazing at fluffy clouds on a summers day.

Sufferers of this malady can rarely be cured, but often learn to live side by side with it. They often display curious and irrational attraction to clip art and stick men memes. This can lead to public humiliation which only steels their resolve to promote this madness to everyone they meet.

In a recent article Professor Archie Medies pleaded that anyone unfortunate enough to come into contact with one of these sufferers should treat them with empathy and sympathy, but most importantly to give them a wide berth because it is not completely clear whether this is a contagious condition.

She also never ever swears.