User talk:Cnlegaspi02/sandbox

peer review johnny
To improve the article the author should refrain from using words that refer to the writer in first person like 'we' or "I." The article presents a lot of facts through its body but needs citations after every sentence which is learned through a source. over all though there is plenty of information which is good. Might want to consider making the paragraph of malnutrition as a cause of child mortality its own subheading. if there are multiple causes for infant mortality multiple sub heading will help with organization. if you are the originator of this article a small summary is necessary in beginning giving an introduction to what it will be about.

Christian Response: Thank you for the feedback. I will be adding all the citations to the sentences towards the end of my section submission. The writing currently on my sandbox is primarily just the basis of my piece which is why I haven't added much.

Christian Yemen Infant Mortality
Talk about the conditions that lead to these 250 per 1,000 children dying.. Like the geographic region, the harsh, environment as well as dependency on imports maybe from their colonial history... Don't say we have made progress in your first paragraph because it's a ensycholpedia entry so your perspective shouldn't be include dont use "we". Say there has been "significant" progress according to the United Nation sor AMnesty International or other sources... Talk about cholera as well as war time conditions and label the time period from 2014-present. Cite sources in first paragraph..

Talk about the Houthi Rebels but talk about the arab spring because it was a popular uprising not a sectarian conflict of a group trying to take control..

Talk about famine and expand the reasons there is infant mortality beyong cholera.. which you will do with time.. but good job so far.. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nw510510 (talk • contribs) 23:27, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Christian's Response: Thank you for your feedback. I plan to elaborate on the current statuses of the Yemeni children with the significant amounts of progress that the UN and other movements have done to help.

Citation templates & Manual of Style
I ran reFill to turn bare URLs into citation templates. Please do not use bare URLs. Please see Citing sources.

Also, Wikipedia has a Manual of Style. Please refer to Headings and sections section to understand about 2nd & 3rd level headings & when & how to use them.

Peaceray (talk) 02:10, 18 December 2018 (UTC)