User talk:Cnvillal/Alicia Garza

Chloe Pearson's Peer Review :) Hi all! Great work! In the early life and education portion, I think if you are going to mention her mothers death there should be a little bit more expansion on it rather then inputting directly after stating she got married in 2008. I also think it would be cool to expand on her queer identity a bit more. In regards to noting Garza’s tattoo, I think you might want to expand on its importance to her and why she has it. I think the Career portion is also really great. I like how it is organized. One suggestion is to make sure you are citing all of your information like the first sentence under the PUEBLO portion. Additionally, toward the end of the POWER section there is more of a focus on the POWER movement overall rather than her work in the movement. Maybe just make sure to tie it back to her. Your BLM portion has really great content. I would cite where you drew “mediated mobilization” from. I would also suggest expanding more about her book. Lastly, I would work on the flow of your writing. You all have great content but it is a little choppy at times. ChRoseP22 (talk) 23:42, 16 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi all,

Good start. I agree that you should definitely do the things Chloe is suggesting. I think the next steps are to really update everything Garza has done through 2021--you can include all of her speeches, including the UCSD commencement one coming up--anything that is on UCSD websites about her should be considered well sourced. I hope you will keep reading her book to be able to add more about her life story and what experiences have motivated her involvement. Also you can go through any media or youtube interviews with her as well.

-Dr. Garth

Sarah Kadhium (Peer Review) Hi everyone! The lead paragraph summarizes Alicia Garza's life; however, further detail about information mentioned later in this article will be beneficial.I found the tattoo section to be really interesting, and it gave the article a more personal touch. A lead to the article's career section will include an overview of what is covered in all parts within that section to the public. I believe that distinguishing the information about early life and education from the information about careers will be beneficial. Even, articles like the one written by Alicia Garza for the Guardian. This article contains references as well as links to other resources. This article might use a little more structure to be complete, but it contains useful details and references. More details about articles she's written and interviews she's conducted will be beneficial.Sarahkadhium (talk) 18:55, 20 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi everyone,

The first thing that I noticed, as a disabled person, is in the POWER section, you said "Free transit for young people was approved, and expanded to seniors and individuals with disabilities." The proper way to talk about disabled people is either "disabled people" or "people with disabilities" and when talking broadly, disabled preference is shifting away from "people with disabilities" to "disabled people". Academia and style guidelines are lagging; this shift has in progress for at least the last 7 years. Beyond that, using "individuals" just feels like further dehumanisation probably because "individual" tends to be used in context that are less about the humanity of the person being discussed. If you want to know more and read various people's language, you can google "person first vs identity first language disability" and you should get some resources.

I also recommend putting everything in the career section in chronological order, as that is Wikipedia's preference for biographies. I feel like there's some overlap in how long things last, but organising the timeline based on start dates I think should meet Wikipedia's preference.

I also noticed that your first source is the Instagram login page; assuming that's a typo/wrong link.

On a more general note, I notice that there aren't many internal links to other Wikipedia pages on the sections where you've done the most work. As a wikipedia user, having those internal links is something I value.

Other than that, though, I feel like you've added a good amount and I learned some things from reading your draft. AtinCabur (talk) 22:55, 20 May 2021 (UTC)

Peer Review By Dominique Montoya

Hey Y'all,

After going over the page, I believe the structure is quite strong and flows smoothly. The introduction gives a lot of details about Alicia's early life, which I thought was a good way to catch people's attention and why she became who she is now. Throughout the page, the tone was very neutral and there were no signs of bias within the writing. One thing that I do want to point out is the section about Alicia's personal life. Do y'all plan to expand in that area because the tattoo explanation is spot on, but is that the only thing people want to add? If there were more personal things about Alicia's life then that would be more intriguing. Also, the resources that were a part of this page are reliable because they are up to date, but I would suggest adding a little more to the page. Overall, the page is looking amazing and the information that was provided helped me understand Alicia Garza much better so keep up the good work!

Sarah Cooper's Peer Review: I think this page is a really great foundation for a thorough, informational wiki page! In general I think there needs to be a little bit more information on Garza's involvement and contributions to the organizations and movements she is credited as beinga part of, as a big part of it just talks about the movement itself, and less on her as a person. I would also like to see a little more organization to the Early life section, like making new subjects its own paragraph/line, to separate childhood from education, etc. Also, an idea could be to make the notability area its own section and focus on awards/publications/titles she has, and maybe reorganize the train event into a more specific movement if that makes sense? I really like how it is organized and in general just think it needs a bit more fleshing out! Scooper36 (talk) 03:37, 21 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi everyone!

I really liked your Alicia Garza article. It looks like I peer reviewed both the official Alicia Garza page and your draft. Like I mentioned, I think there needs to be some mention of her activism that she had done when she was doing undergrad at UCSD. As Sarah mentioned, the organizations mentioned seem to focus more on their work than her individual contribution to each. I like the way it is organized, and tone is neutral, so keep up the good work!