User talk:Coach Lumen

You educate a man, you educate a man. You educate a woman, you educate a generation!
The world has come a long way from the times when women weren’t allowed to vote or were allowed to be educated or have a career. And these are critical battles won by women (& men) over generations.

But there are still many such changes that need to happen – equal pay for equal work, equitable expectations from men and women to contribute to responsibilities at home, and so on.

However, Women being able to break the shackles of their own mental blocks and what they see as expectations from themselves and what they expect from their partners and extended families is one more.

I have been working with several women as clients in the last year and there are some striking observations that I’d like to share in this article. A lot of these are for women in India but these observations are also applicable globally.

There are several women in the ’40s to maybe touching the 50’s, who have given up their careers when they had kids or their spouses had great career opportunities that involved dislocation or frequent travel on their husband’s part. So, these exceptional, smart, strong women gave up their own flourishing careers, stayed at home, and cared for their families.

Now the kids are grown up and left home or have become old enough to not need a parent so much. And the world has changed to offer opportunities that perhaps women from my generation didn’t have – if they couldn’t hold on to a traditional career, many of them just became homemakers.

What is extremely powerful and heartening to see is this generation of women finding their feet and place in the world!

You see women finding their passion and voice, training and equipping themselves, start their own ventures, their kids helping moms learn technology and support in other ways, women finding other women to form communities and circles of support for themselves. And in many cases, men supporting their wives’ efforts – a lot more passively than actively – but hey, it’s a good start?

During my coaching of these women, the following areas come up often. And the most redeeming aspect is women wanting to work on themselves to be able to deal with it better – rather than giving up as it used to happen more commonly in my generation:

- Women want to define who they want to be and want to be accepted as such – no more going along with expectations of what a mother, wife, daughter, sister is ‘supposed’ to do!

- Women want to put themselves at par with, if not as the first, priority within other family expectations – no more tags of an eternal martyr or selfish!

- Women can state to their spouses – this option doesn’t work for me, so if your career is important for you, go ahead but I’m not dislocating myself or the kids, nor am I giving up what I have built for myself – no more taken for granted

- Women’s belief in themselves to say I want to do something big and so I’ll invest in myself – no more of what can I do…

- Women’s rankling at the attitude of entitlement that still seems to prevail in some men that men’s career and other needs must be given priority – no more of not being included in all aspects of decision making and choices

So, when I look at these powerful women, learning and getting stronger in standing up for themselves, my faith in the future of humanity and families gets deeper. These are creative, kind, caring, nurturing women – who are also strong, powerful, able to dream, and make it big in this world!!

They are also creating the next generation of men and women who will take it forward further and higher!!! Power on Ladies….

If you are a woman looking for some support on how to move forward with your dreams, reach out to Coach Lumen

If you are a man and want to help or educate women in your life discover themselves and flourish as an individual, reach out…

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