User talk:ColeLALS

Your submission at Articles for creation
 Thank you for your recent submission to Articles for Creation. Your article submission has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. Please view your submission to see the comments left by the reviewer. You are welcome to edit the submission to address the issues raised, and resubmit if you feel they have been resolved.
 * If you would like to continue working on the submission, you can find it at Wikipedia&.
 * To edit the submission, click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
 * If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the [ Articles for creation help desk], or on the [ . Please remember to link to the submission!
 * You can also get live chat help from experienced editors.
 * Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia! davidwr/ (talk)/(contribs)/(e-mail)  01:27, 4 June 2013 (UTC)
 * It was rejected on a technicality: You already copied it into the main encyclopedia.  It lives at Larry Hernandez.  davidwr/  (talk)/(contribs)/(e-mail)  01:29, 4 June 2013 (UTC)

Rewrite requested
The article above has serious issues with "tone" and "close paraphrasing." A well-written Wikipedia article sounds like an encyclopedia article not an essay or promotional biography. Your submission also included large sections that appear to be superficial re-writes of source material rather than a summary. Please read Writing better articles and Close paraphrasing and consider improving the article.

I made some superficial changes including changing the table to an "infobox" and making some changes required by Manual of style. I'm sure I didn't catch all of the style issues, so please fix them as you find them.

I called this section "rewrite requested" and not "rewrite required" for a reason - if you do nothing, it is very unlikely that this article will be deleted. However, it would greatly improve the encyclopedia if it were re-written.

By the way, it was a pleasure reading something originally submitted in AFC about someone who was clearly notable from the get-go. You would be surprised at the number of submissions about non-notable musicians we get by people trying to use Wikipedia as a publicity tool. davidwr/ (talk)/(contribs)/(e-mail)  02:28, 4 June 2013 (UTC)