User talk:Columps

Who are the COLUMPS?

Well we don’t mind you asking. We were kind of expecting it really.

Columps° are little lumps of colour. They used to be found throughout the UK but due to the mass production of boring marketing literature, they’ve become very rare. Now sadly, there are only a handful in captivity. And believe us – they are a handful. These adorable creatures’ purpose in life is to transform humdrum black and white into dazzling full colour. It’s what they do best and they have their work cut out. Just look at all the boring single-colour print around you – oh the humanity. And before you ask, they like Celine Dion and their favourite ice cream is tutti-fruity.