User talk:Commodus Titus Antonius/sandbox

Feedback Human Trafficking in Southeast Asia
In your first section, I would consider changing the section heading and reorganize/separate the information to be more digestable. Make sure Southeast Asian impacts are the focus of each section. In your second section (Causes) I would make separate paragraphs for each of the noted causes, and elaborate on each, or articulate the cause/effect. It might also be beneficial to talk about the specific countries that are involved in sex-trafficking and numbers. I think you should be more detailed in your description of source and destination countries, especially destination countries as you really only mention Thailand. I would also fix the headings for Victims and traffickers to get rid of the "description" subheadings. In the victims section I would suggest articulating the circumstances in which people are taken against their will, you kind of just gloss over this. I also suggest articulating the different types of victims and especially give specific mention of sex trafficking victims in the region. Again, I suggest articulating the topic of Traffickers more thoroughly, and the circumstances that lead to trafficking. You also mention data/statistics/rates, but don't note what they are specifically, I would suggest doing so to provide more context and perspective. If possible I would add more detail in regard to the prevention policies you describe, and reorganize the section/separate the policies to clarify. Overall good article layout, I would suggest adding (if you can) a section on the economic impact of human trafficking, how big a part of countries' income it is, etc., and consider the above suggestions. Lsmqueen (talk) 21:44, 21 April 2014 (UTC)