User talk:Crusader-gal/sandbox

feedback
Hi Here's some feedback for ya!
 * I made a few very small formatting edits and described what I did in the page history
 * I feel like this could use some more links. For example, you could link "Lucretia Mott" in "which Paul dubbed the "Lucretia Mott Amendment". Additionally, the last 3 paragraphs do not have any links, despite being quite lengthy.
 * related to this sentence, why did Paul refer to it as such? That was a question I had as a reader that was left unanswered. It's okay if you cannot find the answer, but it might be nice to add
 * Per the Wikipedia Manual of Style, it's fine to use acronyms and initialisms, such as you did with the Equal Rights Amendment and ERA. However, if you are going to use abbreviations, you should explicitly define them. In this case, you would have "Equal Rights Amendment (ERA)" at its first usage. Then, in all subsequent usage, you can just simply say ERA.
 * You don't need to do this with NWP, because the initialism is defined in a previous section of the Alice Paul article
 * For this sentence The larger rival the League of Women Voters (LWV), which championed workplace legislation for women... the meaning is unclear. I think a comma is missing in the beginning, perhaps? The the LWV is a larger rival than whom? This could be clarified somewhat
 * "Paul worked to change laws that altered a woman's citizenship based on that of her husband" no feedback here, but just my amazement that this was ever a thing! How wretched
 * I see a few areas where citations are necessary. In general, every sentence added to Wikipedia should be cited. There are a few exceptions:
 * When writing an article, the lead paragraph doesn't need to have citations as long as everything it contains is present and cited in the body of the article
 * A sentence doesn't have to be cited if it's part of a consecutive grouping of sentences that all come from the same source. The referenced work can then be cited once at the end of the consecutive sentences.
 * therefore, you shouldn't have any paragraphs that end without citations, as the last two do. Make sure everything is verified :)
 * In 1946, the ERA passed by three votes in the Senate, not the majority needed for it to advance. this is unclear. If it didn't get the majority, then it didn't pass, right? See if you make this clearer & don't forget to add some citations!
 * Another Wikipedia rule for consistency across articles is that years are not abbreviated or shortened. So instead of the '70s, you can just write 1970s.
 * Watch out for original research and editorializing. You want to make sure that you aren't inserting opinions. I thought you did a really good job of staying neutral and verifiable up until the very last sentence--measures that Paul would likely have applauded and that could make the amendment viable again. You can probably just ditch this phrase, as it's speculative. While you're almost certainly correct, there is no way to verify what Alice Paul thinks about any current event (unless we find a really good Ouij board, maybe...)

Let me know if you have questions about any of this feedback! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 06:12, 19 February 2019 (UTC)

selling suffrage feedback
Hi, I know this is still a work and progress, but I'll offer feedback on what you have so far.
 * Minor formatting thing, but you should use an em dash instead of the double hyphen. How you insert em dashes and other special characters: there's a greek "omega" symbol to the right of the "insert" button on the editing toolbar when you're in editing mode. Click this, and will give you an option to insert special characters that aren't on the standard keyboard.
 * you'll want to add some links. It's up to you if you would like to add these as you go or wait until the end and then go through and add links.
 * your final thoughts are uncited (Suffragists used a variety of means to raise attention and funds for their movement, and at times the two were intertwined. Suffrage banners, pins, and phamplets were the earliest materials created)

I know I'm giving you feedback on a product you're still working on, so feel free to get in touch as you keep working with any questions or requests for feedback you may have. Thanks! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:56, 19 March 2019 (UTC)