User talk:Csandhu/sandbox

Zecheng's Peer Review
1 + 2. The lead section is easy to understand and is backed by valid sources, cited correctly where appropriate, although it could be expanded a little further. For instance, you could explain what the overall “fate” of the Lagos Plan of Action was (e.g. was it successful?).

The “History” section flows well, has a neutral tone and is consistent. Although, it would be good to clarify what “it” is in the first sentence.

-“The plan pointed out the international community's ability to influence Africa economically by their exploitation Africa's abundant natural resources”— “their” should be replaced with “its”.

I also noticed you have two citations to fill in within the ‘History’ section.

3. The most important aspect to improve would be to add more bulk to the essay and expand each section as opposed to only the first one. In regards to upcoming sections, I would suggest maintaining a similar level of balance, consistency, and neutrality. This is a very good start; there just aren’t enough sections to comment on yet.

4. So far I see that you have only fully fledged out the “History” section, although the plan for other sections looks good, whereby you plan to discuss each goal of the Lagos Plan of Action. Continued reference to the Berg report is justified given the context of the Lagos Plan of Action’s creation.

5. I really like how you’ve used wikipedia formatting conventions and will apply this to my own article. Your proposed organization is also very logical. You have cited almost everything that needs to be cited, which makes the article look credible and is another thing I could use to improve my own article.

6. As a reader, I’d like to know more about how the Lagos Plan of Action panned out (in the initial section as well as in more detail in subsequent sub-sections. However, if you fill in each section you put in your table of contents (in similar detail to the ‘History’ section), I think the reader will have sufficient information about everything relevant.

Csandhu's Peer Review by Vicentia Gyau
I like the fact that you are working on an article that has such little content and information. I also like that you are adding a new section that discusses the goals of the Lagos Plan of Action.

I think there is room for improvement in the goals of the Lagos Plan of Action. It would be great to explain and provide more information on the various goals of the Lagos Plan of Action: Agriculture Industry Natural Resources Human Resource Development Science Transport and Communication Trade and Finance Environment Energy Women and Development.

The article also seems to have a neutral language and is well cited; however, the last sentence which reads; "This contrasts significantly with the Berg Report, which apportioned blame solely on the Africa leaders themselves, with the international community taking no responsibility for their part in Africa's demise."[from Csandhu's sandbox], seems to be an opinion, rather than a fact, which can be backed by evidence/scholarly source. I would recommend rewording in neutral words and adding a citation.

To improve the article, it would be important to add to the "History" section of the article. This section is a brief one which, in my opinion, does not provide much background information on the Lagos Plan of Action. It basically talks about where the plan was drafted, and how the plan blames Africa's economic problems on Structural adjustment programs. It does not talk about how the plan came about, the persons, groups, states, or institutions involved, and the reason(s) for the plan. It would be great if you could add more information to the history section of the article.

The article is fairly small, with less content, thus the structure is simple and straightforward. It would be great to bear the structure in mind, as you add more content to the article.

As a reader, I would like to know how the Lagos Plan of Action came about, the countries or persons involved with this plan, and the major and specific reason or reasons behind it (not just the general reason/reasons). I would also like to know if the Plan is still existing today. I would also like to know how the plan was implemented (if it was), the achievements the plan and made, and its effects on the African continent and globally as well. I would also like to know specific examples or cases of the impact or results of the plan on the economic and political development of the African continent. It would also be a good idea to contrast countries who joined the plan and those who did not, as a way fo measuring the impact or effects of the plan on the African continent.

Vicentiagyau (talk) 06:46, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

Vicentia's Wikipedia Article for African Politic Class
Hello,

I trust that you are well.

I write to draw your attention to the article and my Wikipedia edits that you should focus on for the peer review assignment.

Please focus on providing peer review for the edits I made under the section "Wikipedia Draft - African Politics (PS 146) Spring 2019" in my sandbox. I have already taken a class that required students to edit articles on Wikipedia, thus I still have those edits (for the other class) in my sandbox. The article I am improving or working on for the African Politics class is Development aid.

Thank you and I sincerely apologize for the confusion and for any inconvenience caused.

Vicentiagyau (talk) 07:14, 7 April 2019 (UTC)