User talk:Cullen328/sandbox/Platypus draft

less jargon
"public fora" is jargon. there are more examples Ensignmorituri (talk) 01:55, 9 April 2024 (UTC)


 * "critique" is another example. it doesnt really mean the same thing outside of the context of philosophy. if it is used in this article it should be further qualified Ensignmorituri (talk) 02:05, 9 April 2024 (UTC)

list of chapter locations is clunky
should say "has chapters at the university of chicago, the school of the art of the institute of chicago, ..., among others." it is not necessary to name as many chapters as there are named here. note the article for the Democratic Socialists of America, which says "As of July 2023, the DSA lists 206 official chapters and organizing committees in all 50 states, as well as 126 student chapters", rather than naming specific chapters Ensignmorituri (talk) 01:58, 9 April 2024 (UTC)

activities section
i think this should just say "the platypus affiliated society has published articles by prominent leftist intellectuals, including x, y, and z. the platypus affiliated society has held events in collaboration with x, y, and z organization".

the note about Chris Cutrone's "capital in history" should say that it was a teach-in, with a link to the page for teach-in. saying that he "presented 'capital in history'" is vague. could be referring to a book, film, lecture, etc. but it is a teach-in. Ensignmorituri (talk) 02:03, 9 April 2024 (UTC)