User talk:Cwooli1/sandbox

Maternal Bond Article
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maternal_bond

Suggestions for Improvement
Upon reading the article, I noticed a few errors in the first paragraph. The second to last sentence is a run on sentence with a grammatical error that needs to be fixed. The word choices of the last sentence, particularly the first three words, could use a minor change to help the flow of the sentence. Under the subheading Pregnancy, the last sentence in the first paragraph doesn't flow very well. Rearranging the sentence could help fix this problem.
 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:06, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

Teenage Pregnancy Article
Here's a link to the article I would like to add additional sources to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_pregnancy
 * Approved. Be careful to maintain a neutral point of view and explain your edits on the article talk page, since this topic could be seen as somewhat contentious. Josef Horáček (talk) 05:25, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

Additional Sources
These were originally put in my Sandbox -- I forgot to put these sources under the "Talk" page of my Sandbox.

Source 1: http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=9610111125&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Women exposed to abuse, domestic violence, and family strife in childhood are more likely to become pregnant as teenagers, and the risk of becoming pregnant as a teenager increases with the number of adverse childhood experiences.

Source 2: http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=34629842&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=11654714&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=9703244239&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=9708220410&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Multiple studies have indicated a strong link between early childhood sexual abuse and subsequent teenage pregnancy in industrialized countries. Up to 70% of women who gave birth in their teens were molested as young girls; by contrast, 25% of women who did not give birth as teens were molested.

Source 3: http://ppn.sagepub.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/content/14/3-4/125.full.pdf+html

Some politicians condemn pregnancy in unmarried teenagers as a drain on taxpayers, if the mothers and children receive welfare payments from the government.

Source 4: http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=47508472&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Studies from South Africa have found that 11–20% of pregnancies in teenagers are a direct result of rape, while about 60% of teenage mothers had unwanted sexual experiences preceding their pregnancy. Before age 15, a majority of first-intercourse experiences among females are reported to be non-voluntary; the Guttmacher Institute found that 60% of girls who had sex before age 15 were coerced by males who on average were six years their senior. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cwooli1 (talk • contribs) 15:07, 16 February 2015 (UTC)

Source 5: http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=4702339&site=ehost-live&scope=site

However, recent studies have found that many of these mothers had already dropped out of school before becoming pregnant, but those in school at the time of their pregnancy were as likely to graduate as their peers. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cwooli1 (talk • contribs) 01:20, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Adding the Lead to an Article
I found a completely different article than the ones I posted previously.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child%27s_Dream — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cwooli1 (talk • contribs) 21:10, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

Analysis of Article
Overall I think the Child's Dream article is well developed and balanced. The article introduces the information in an order that makes sense. The article starts by presenting the history and development of the organization followed by its mission and strategy, and then success stories and additional information. The article also contains several citations that appear to be reliable.

Drafting the Lead
Child's Dream is a charitable not-for-profit organization founded by Daniel Siegfriend and Marc Jenni in 2003. The foundation is dedicated to empowering marginalised children, youth and communities in the Mekong Sub-Region of Myanmar, Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia. The primary goal of Child's Dream is to enhance healthcare to reduce child mortality, construct educational facilities to provide basic education and higher education, and provide scholarship programs and employment opportunities to families and communities. By addressing health, basic education, and higher education, Child's Dream works to minimize poverty by providing socioeconomic opportunities to help improve the future of each person's life. In order to work in different countries, the organization has legal entities in Switzerland, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, and Hong Kong.


 * Good job. In your first sentence, you should say "a not-for-profit charitable organization" with no comma. Josef Horáček (talk) 07:52, 2 March 2015 (UTC)