User talk:DINOPIGFAN!

Not many people have heard of the species 'Dinopig' but this is a real species with a real threat. He has some sort of powers. They include super strength and speediness, tickling powers and shapeshifting from human form to dinopig form. But you must know that they are allergic to cold water and their favourite dance move is ‘THE JELLYFISH’. If you ever have the pleasure of meeting one you must display THE JELLYFISH and you can even ask him to demonstrate. Make sure to put time, effort and dedication into creating the best possible JELLYFISH. If I am being honest he is quite the pro. If needed I can add the link to creating the best JELLYFISH! Although I can’t find one quite as good as the dinopig but this shall do. The JellyFish

The theory of where the dinopig came from is much CONTRADICTED. And a few theories circulate. What is for sure is that the original dinopig did not originate on earth. The two most tested theories (though are unusual at first glance) are as follows:


 * The first theory dates back to 900 bce where by pure accident a fellow named Dinovan Piggiestyle discovered a rainbow with a very… distinct smell. So Dinovan Piggiestyle geared up and sacrificed his life. Legend has it that the last thing that was heard from him was terrifying screams coming from the other side of the rainbow. Scientists nowadays assume that on the other side of stinky rainbows lay dinopigs. However, people named the species after Dinovan Piggiestyle because he has helped us majorly and sacrificed his life for this information. No one has ever tried to get further scientific knowledge.
 * The second theory is that dinopigs are very distantly related to mars monkeys. A few centuries ago, when dinopigs were more plentiful, many of them were seen trying to fly to mars (though dinopigs lost that ability to fly a long time ago), everytime they tried it coincided with the calling of mars monkeys. Which is very similar to dinopig calls, however dinopigs rarely display their call due to being shy. While trying to fly to the planet of mars monkeys few experienced difficulties and had to land on earth. Though, their name stayed dinopig because of the loyalty and bravery of Dinovan Piggiestyle.

The dinopig is incredibly predictable in his daily routine. In the morning, as soon as he wakes up, he demands coffee. He will engage in a discussion of whom should be responsible for making it, but after some threatening from his side, the dinopig concludes it is not his responsibility to make coffee. Everything must be done FOR him. This is known as the egocentric dinopig type. Unfortunately all other types of dinopigs have been lost along the long way of evolution. Other habits include: walking around like a mad man, doing lots of ‘fixing cars’ - where he seems to have a tendency to prefer old cars (scientists have discovered this preference is to hide behind the cars age to not confront himself with his ancient history)

The dinopig does have a predictable routine however his moods are all over the place. You can never know how he feels. He could be in the middle of his daily poop while singing and then suddenly snap at us for not singing with him. Or he could be displaying his puppy eyes because he is sad (which looks more like a dinopig with diarrhoea) and then suddenly jump up with excitement and start doing THE JELLYFISH. Other than that, he does have a very honest expressional face. Although, it can be confusing e.g. when he is doing his puppy eyes it looks more like his insides are about to explode. This is how his puppy eye face looks! But there is one thing for sure, he is always grumpy.

His diet mainly consists of beer, wine, coffee and snacks. There was a song made especially for this creature, some of you may know it. Except the words have been altered to fit this particular dinopig. It goes like this…

Long ago there was no beer, that’s why I drink it here. I wait till the effect is severe, and I drink it every day of every year.

Long ago there was no wine, so I drink it till I’ve had at least 9. The taste is super divine, I will never give up on my wine.

Long ago there was no coffee, meaning I drink it till I feel very sloppy. It makes me feel like a beautiful poppy, drinking it with my toffee.

Long ago there was no snacks, if I don’t have any now I’ll have an attack. The noise will be like whack, whack, whack, oh no I better not slack.

Dad jokes Now to the real important part, the dinopig is a dad but really sucks at dad jokes. You would think that if his daughter provided him with guidelines he would find it quite easy but no he still struggles majorly. Many people think that the dinopig doesn’t have a weakness but he indeed does. And as it turns out, I think I have found it. Yes! It’s dad jokes. DINOPIGFAN! (talk) 09:58, 2 December 2023 (UTC)