User talk:Daddydizzle55/sandbox

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_versions_of_Lex_Luthor In the lead paragraph there is a grammatical error in which the author uses both "from" and "depicted in" right next to each other.
 * That's a good edit, but you were supposed to make at least two changes for this assignment. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:18, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belle_Chasse,_Louisiana in need of additional information and sourcing
 * Thanks for adding the sources, but there are some changes you need to make. First of all, not all of your sources were found using the library resources, which was a requirement for this assignment. Sources like education.com and city-data.com are not eligible. You should be able to verify the information on government sites. Talk to a librarian if you need help finding those. Secondly, you need to fix the formatting of your dates - slashes are not allowed. That's why you see the error message in red on the page. Match the date format to the previous sources on the page. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:32, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for reformatting the references in the article and adding new sources. There is still room for improvement; for example, the Lewis and Cangelosi source is an excerpt from a book, and the reference should reflect that. But overall, the article is improved, and I recommend that you move on to the next project. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:07, 26 February 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Hefner Analysis: The information provided in the current lead is good information and is in good order but isn't enough to be a sufficient summary of the information that follows. In my draft for a new lead I would shed a little light on some of the information that isn't present in the current lead. I would like to provide a brief summary of how he got where he is today and not just the date he was born and the company that he owns. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Daddydizzle55 (talk • contribs) 17:17, 25 February 2015 (UTC)
 * You were supposed to analyze the whole article, not just the lead. But go ahead and work on the draft. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:07, 26 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Please write a draft of the lead. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:18, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Hugh Marston Hefner (born April 9, 1926) is an American adult magazine publisher, businessman, and arguably the most well known playboy. This Chicago, Illinois native is a former journalist for Esquire Magazine and World War II Veteran but is most known for being the founder and chief creative officer of Playboy Enterprises. This self-made millionaire is now worth over 43 millions dollars. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Daddydizzle55 (talk • contribs) 00:25, 3 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Not bad. Some suggestions: 1. In the first sentence, simply say "and a well-known playboy." You want to avoid arguable views. 2. "Most known" should be "best known." 3. You have two subsequent sentences starting with "this." Change the last sentence to "A self-made millionaire, he is now..." Josef Horáček (talk) 17:52, 3 March 2015 (UTC)