User talk:Daisyhelmuth/sandbox

Hi Daisy, this looks like a very good start on your translation. After the peer review, you'll want to start thinking about how you're going to incorporate this information into the English version of the Wikipedia page, with special focus on well-sourced information. Bradhoot (talk) 18:19, 14 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi Daisy, sorry for the late response! Overall I noticed a lot of accuracy throughout the translation. There are just a couple translation words that I think were overlooked. For example, in the phonology section the term "Venetian Segusino," is used, though it looks like in the rest of the translation, language is phrased more like "Chipilo Venetian." A similar thing happens in the "Literature" section with the term "Veneto Chipileno." Some words that you might consider changing in the first section are "Romantic language" to "Romance language," and "over the italian language" to something like "within the italian language." Within the "History" section, the language "Mexicano," is only mentioned once whereas in the original article it is mentioned twice. Instead of in contact with Mexicano/Nahuatl and Spanish it says "in contact with spanish." Though Nahuatl is mentioned later I just wanted to point out that the idea may be changed a bit through omitting it from its first mention. Lastly, within "Phonology," the word "oposicion," can be translated to "contrast," which may make more sense in this case, and the "Literature" section uses the term "sonora s," which I wasn't sure if sonora should have been sound or if sonora s was a term. Great job adding your citations in along with the tables, and overall I got a great idea of the language and feel that, infromationally, you left nothing out. — Preceding unsigned comment added by SantanaG123 (talk • contribs) 22:32, 18 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi Daisy, I think the Chipilo Venetian Dialect and History sections are translated well and portray the original message. I really like the graph you included in the phonology section, although you might want to translate those words, such as consonantes, oclusivas, ... You might also want to translate the languages at the top of the comparative lexicographic table. Other than those things, the body of the article looks very well written. If possible, it would be great if you can find English versions of any of the references, but I understand this sometimes isn't possible. In the phonology section, it would be helpful to explain that AFI is Alfabeto Fonético Internacional, and this abbreviation might change when translated as well. One last piece of advice is to explain that Nahuatl is an indigenous language, because many Enlgish speakers might not know that. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mlove10 (talk • contribs) 14:40, 2 November 2021 (UTC)

-- Gracias por colaborar con tus compañeros para producir el mejor artículo final posible, aunque habría sido mejor si hubieras incluido un par de sugerencias más para llegar a cinco. Bradhoot (talk) 13:18, 4 November 2021 (UTC)

Comments on second draft
Good work on your draft article! Here are some comments to help you revise as you prepare to publish your work by integrating it with the existing English article. In addition to these changes and the ones I made directly, in our workshop, you should be prepared to think about how you’re going to incorporate your work into the existing article. Where is each piece going to go? How will you integrate things so that you’re not duplicating existing material? Where will you replace existing material with your new material? How might you need to alter your translation to fit in the existing context, including some possible re-writing?
 * Overall, your translations are very good! I did have some suggestions for phrasing, which I made directly in the article.
 * Good work incorporating the original sources.
 * It would be good to get a citation for this claim: “However, although Chipileño is very close to other Venetian dialects, it is a unique case in Mexico and can be compared to the Venetian Talian of southern Brazil.”.
 * Segusino commune – Is it really a commune? Or is there a better term? If this is an original Italian term you’d like to keep, you can put it in italics and give it a parenthetical translation or explanation.
 * The first two paragraphs of the history section could use citations.
 * “This arrival of immigrants marked a special chapter in the history of a foreign language that can be compared to what happened in southern Brazil.” How so?
 * I like your choice to just keep “Chipileño” as the way to style the name of this variety.
 * “Venetian Segusino” – should this be Segusino Venetian? Also, can you add a link to that variety?
 * The left side of that phonology table still needs translating, and I can help you with that if you have questions.
 * For the section on the articles, you need to translate the glosses (that is, the translations in single quotes that serve to explain what an example linguistic form means), so that an English reader can understand. I did the first couple for you in the text. Can you please do the others following a similar model? Also, I think you might want to consider just making this into a table or a bulleted list, since it’s very dense.
 * I don’t think these symbols are right, and I’m not sure they were right in the original Spanish article. You might need to omit this unless we can get to the bottom of it: “ even though they do not have letters for specific sounds, such as voiced 's' [z] (written 'x' in Venetian Italy), or [θ] (written [º] in Veneto of Italy), and [d] (written [DH] in Veneto of Italy).”

Bradhoot (talk) 23:43, 5 November 2021 (UTC)