User talk:Daisymartin/sandbox

Hi Daisy! Just saying hello Sneha.s.mehta (talk) 22:43, 1 February 2018 (UTC)

Peer review
Hi Daisy! I really like your article choices. For the area article on Health in Ghana, here are my comments:

- add citations for the sentences where you clarify timeline (i.e. "Since the end of WWII") because it's hard to see how you verified that

- the first paragraph you added in history has some interesting content, but there is a disconnect between that paragraph and the one following it. maybe see if there are still institutional traditional care givers and tie it into the more present-day need/move towards institutional health clinics. what seems to have impacted that change? was it a historical event or an effect of "modernism"?

- what exactly is meant by "premodern traditional beliefs"? If there is a specific year to reference, that would be very helpful. I also think you can expand this section below and speak more to whether or not traditional herbalists are integrated with modern health providers or if there is tension between the disciplines?

"In precolonial Ghana, traditional village priests, clerics, and herbalists were the primary care givers, offering advice and treatment to the sick. Premodern traditional beliefs stressed the combination of spiritual and physical healing with priests and clerics identifying the supernatural causes of disease and its remedies and herbalists offering medicinal herbs. The intersection of spirituality and medicine can be seen in priests using practices such as divination to determine the cause of illness and suggesting curative sacrifices before prescribing medicinal herbs obtained from herbalists. In the 19th century, western medicine was introduced by Christian missionaries to the Gold Coast. Still, however, traditional herbalists remain important health providers especially in rural areas where health centers are scarce.[1]" — Preceding unsigned comment added by Butnotsowithus (talk • contribs) 02:02, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

for Public Health:

- since you're talking about developing countries as a blanket group, did you cross reference several sources or did you find a source that had them listed generally?

- maybe you can expand on what the goals are for each type of intervention, in addition to what intervention it is and which countries use which interventions more frequently (if that information is available)

- clarify "general consensus" amongst whom? experts? community organizations? governments? what authority is this "consensus" emerging from?

- this article is pretty thorough already, but looking at how there are country examples for developed countries and not for developING countries, I feel, is indicative of the voices lost here by generalizing and conflating many different developing countries. It would be cool if you could maybe develop a section specifically about Ghana under "Developing Countries" to expand the "Health Policy Interventions and Systems in Developing Countries" section you are adding. Additionally, I don't think "in Developing COuntries" is necessary for either this title nor the one after it if you make it a subheader under the "Developing countries" heading.

Overall I really enjoy the breadth of topics that you have here. The area article definitely has an encyclopedic tone. I think that if you expand on the "general consensus" bit that I gave feedback on above, you might run into tone problems, so just be careful with it. I think it'd be a good opportunity to apply some of the frameworks we've used in class to think about whose voices are creating this consensus and how RCTs have been received in some developing countries (perhaps provide an example or two) Butnotsowithus (talk) 01:44, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Area:

- Overall, it looks like a helpful addition to have information on non-western medicine.

- Some personal preferences with phrasing:

In precolonial Ghana, traditional village priests, clerics, and herbalists were the primary care givers, offering advice and treatment to the sick. Premodern traditional beliefs stressed the combination of spiritual and physical healing with priests and clerics identifying the supernatural causes of disease and its remedies and herbalists offering medicinal herbs. <- (separate that into 2 sentences) The intersection of spirituality and medicine can be seen in priests using practices such as divination to determine the cause of illness and suggesting curative sacrifices before prescribing medicinal herbs obtained from herbalists. In the 19th century, western medicine was introduced by Christian missionaries to the Gold Coast. Still, however, traditional herbalists remain ("However, traditional herbalists still remain") important health providers especially in rural areas where health centers are scarce.

- Interesting source though the information is obtained from the U.S. Army, so I don't know if that offers any bias.

These organizations provided, "financial and technical assistance for the elimination of diseases and the improvement of health standards."

- ^ Does this quote need to be quoted or is it possible for it to be paraphrased?

Sector:

- More background information on health policy interventions and systems in developing countries may be helpful.

There is a general consensus that randomized controlled trials (RCT) are a necessary measure for evaluating the efficacy of medical interventions such as vaccines and pharmaceuticals; <- (can be a period instead of a semicolon) however, recent studies have shown that this has been extended to public health interventions as well. Pocock et al said there are, " serious concerns regarding inadequacies in the analysis and reporting of epidemiological publications," calling for standardized measured for evaluating health interventions, both medical and in public health. When evaluating the effectiveness of public health interventions, epidemiologists must look at the intervention's efficacy as well as cost, logistics, and secondary effects by conducting randomized control trials and observational studies.

- This paragraph sounds slightly less neutral. It may be helpful to have more sources or rephrase so it's less of a general statement?

Annaou (talk) 01:43, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

Jasmine's Feedback There are some sections like HIV/AIDS or Maternal and child health care where you could add to since there isn't much in the section currently. Besides statistics, you could look for sociological reasons as to why these issues are prevalent specifically in Ghana.

Bori's feedback History: Still, however -> However, Ghana gained its independence from Britain -> add date, 1957? These organization, followed by direct quotation -> I would try to paraphrase. But if you leave it like this, then add the citation directly after the quotation marks. Overall really informative! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Bellamelodia (talk • contribs) 19:04, 3 May 2018 (UTC)