User talk:Dalon041/sandbox


 * Hey fellow classmate, just checking in. Have a safe night & see you in class tomorrow. Dcauley5 (talk) 01:56, 7 September 2016 (UTC)

Prof Garcia's Comments
This comment is regarding Week 6: What an excellent job, David! You are really doing an excellent job in this project. I loved what you added to your sandbox and the kind of organization that you are building up. You are setting yourself up for a successful page: keep up the great work! Alfgarciamora (talk) 11:42, 12 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you, for the work that you put into moving stuff into the mainspace. I have taken a look at your work and have a few suggestions: - Your section on business on the mainspace of the article is a bit out of place. I was confused as to how it fit in with social conscience and how it all related. The best thing you can do is move your final paragraph in that section to the top of that section. Make sure to be up front about what the connection between social conscience and business is. - To that end, some of your sentences are a bit confusing or not encyclopedic enough. Take a look at our resources from this semester to see what sorts of writing style you should have. - I need to see more sociology in regards to social conscience. Who came up with the term? How has it been used? What are the specific academic articles or books that employ the idea? This is important. - You should take a look at other Wikipedia pages that are very well-organized so you can see how your lead section should look like. It is okay if your lead section only has one or two sentences in it.

As always, let me know if you have any questions! I look forward to seeing your final product! Alfgarciamora (talk) 14:56, 4 November 2016 (UTC)