User talk:Dbueno97/sandbox

Peer Review
Peer Review

I don't necessarily like the tone of the article. There's a difference between being black and African-American, and I don't know why but the tone of the article is bothering with the use of those terms. The introduction needs so much work. To begin with, the tone needs to be changed, the opening sentencing of comparing African-American neighborhoods to ethnic enclaves, it confusing and then I don't understand why the article is saying "found in the US." It makes it sound like it was a great big discovery or ancient place. Which it isn't. There have been black and African-American communities as long as the US existed which was due to slavery and segregation. The introduction does not set up the article very well, at all. The introduction should connect more to the major topics covered in the article because the information given the article is great, but then I wouldn't have guessed that I would've obtained any of that information just be reading the introduction. Does that make sense? The lead section is just confusing to me.

The article is leaving out a lot of important information that could add to the article. For example, reverse redlining, Jim Crow Era, lack of education, healthy food options, and healthcare access in these neighborhoods, and the amount of poverty experienced in these neighborhoods. Which should also be followed by the crime rates, racial disparities, homicides, police shootings, and biased policing experienced in these neighborhoods.

The article has a clear structure, minus the introduction. There is a healthy balance of coverage. The only thing I would change is how the article is mention that the black and African-American communities are experiencing poverty, but not stating reasons why. The article is talking about these communities being considered "ghetto" or the "projects" but missing the information that the government isn't putting money into improving these neighborhoods, or how difficult people are making it black and African-American people to purpose housing in white communities.

I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much into details. They are just suggestions to add to the article.

As far as the sources go, the ones I clicked on opened a link for me, I did find one by Holland Cotter that was more of a news article than reliable research, so maybe finding updated information for that article. I was also looking at the dates on the references, and most of them came from the 1900's or the early 2000's so maybe finding newer information could really improve the article.

Samone H (talk) 19:44, 2 April 2018 (UTC)