User talk:Dcha94exi2/sandbox

Structure
Despite having some good information, this article needs a lot of improvements on the structure and needs a lot of information to be added. There's no subsections that include other subsections. I think the current lead section might be too long. My suggestion would be create individual sections, instead of paragraphs, for the three categories of the digital privacy and add examples/cases for each of them (I think it might be possible to find some legal cases/controversies in each category but it's also fine just adding more information/details from reliable sources if actual cases are hard to find). I feel like the current divisions of sections are done manually with bolded fonts (you might want to check that when moving your draft to the actual article), I would recommend change each sections, such as "hacking" to the "headings" in wikipedia format. In other words, some basic formatting of the whole article would actually be really helpful. For the two sections on Anonymity, it might be helpful to have a sentence or two to explain what those terms are before jumping into actual systems. In general, a lot of places/sections could be expanded, which, in fact, makes it a great article to edit and devote your research and contributions.

Content
While the article looks pretty neutral, it barely has any citations/sources to back up it claims. Something like "In other places, like in the United States, privacy law is less developed in this regard. Some legislation, or rather lack of, allows companies to self-regulate their collection and dissemination practices of consumer information" in actually pretty strong, and it should have at least one reliable sources to back it up. So good job on starting a master list! But it would be even better if you could point out where in the article that the sources are supporting, in which way it would be easier for others to navigate/evaluate your sources. In addition, adding links to the article is another thing worthing doing. In fact, this article could be connected to a lot of other articles on Wikipedia, such as "Pretty Good Privacy", "Onion routing" and etc. --YilinW722 (talk) 07:56, 15 November 2018 (UTC)

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Hey Yilin! Thanks for your peer review. I agree with everything you've noted here, especially the bit on format and citations. I've actually already made a lot of the changes you mention. Unfortunately I haven't posted them yet since uploading my draft, but they will be available later tonight. I'll be sure to keep your comments in mind as I continue to edit. Much thanks again! Dcha94exi2 (talk) 21:52, 15 November 2018 (UTC)