User talk:DeLuca10598/Mobile-Media

Things to work on for your Week 9 continued edits:

Adrishaw (talk) 17:54, 21 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Sandbox: You are supposed to have a sandbox that has the title of the article you are editing in the URL (see video I posted on how to do that or set up a meeting with me). You should move all of your edits thus far and moving forward to that sandbox with the proper URL/title.
 * Evaluate an article: Go back to your article evaluation and pull out the list of things you said you could improve on the existing article. Put that list in the talk page for the Sandbox that includes all of your edits and cross things off as you do them (you can also edit what I have said on this talk page and cross things off as you complete them).
 * Copyedits: You did this well, just make sure when you combine sandboxes you publish each change as you go and explicitly state what you changed. That way when you migrate your work to live Wikipedia you will be able to publish and explain each change as you go. Doing so is a required part of the Week 13 Wikipedia assignment. You should also go through to see if there are more edits you can make.
 * Bibliography: This is a good start for a bibliography, but you should starting summarizing this work and possibly finding more to build out your contributions to the existing Wikipedia article.
 * Citing sources: The sandbox you have been most recently working in doesn't have a citation, and I can't find the citation you did for Week 7's assignment. You need to start drawing on your bibliography to add content with citations, and make sure it is clear where in the existing article that content will go.
 * Adding media/hyperlinks: You only noted what you would hyperlink but you did not actually hyperlink the text. You should review that training and make sure you know how to add links. You should also go through and see if there are things that should be hyperlinks in whatever you add and the existing article (and that you indicate what links to add, not just that you added a link). The image you added is fine, but be sure before you add media to the live Wikipedia article that it is actually necessary or contributes to the article (that is, you had to do it for this assignment, but in your final Wikipedia contributions don't add it just to add it).
 * Overall: You seem to be doing things week by week, but now you really need to focus on the bigger picture of what you plan to add/edit here. Is there more in the existing article that needs copyediting? More citations you can use to expand on the sections you are working on? The more planning you can do now the easier it will be for you to chip away at those edits between now and November 22 when you need to move your final edits to live Wikipedia.

Week 12 feedback:

You say in the history that you bolded what you changed but the only thing you changed in the "intro" section was making two paragraphs into one. Only bold words/sentences/paragraphs you've changed. If you are just making formatting edits write that change in bold, but don't bold the sentences. Similarly for paragraph 4 the only change you seem to have made is adding this sentence: " Media companies like Apple and Google can be thanked by the constant changes that are being made to smartphones every year." But 1. that needs a citation, and also 2. isn't particularly neutral in style. You also need to fix the errors in your citations, and adding more substantive content as you have in paragraph 3. Adrishaw (talk) 22:08, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

Edits Still To Do
Add more to the body and conclusion. Use the articles to summarize and add quotations. Try to find another relatable picture. DeLuca10598 (talk) 03:51, 2 November 2020 (UTC)DeLuca34